Beaker's Blog

Catch up

2008-03-02T06:21:00.002Z

Well, I'd love to be able to relay tales of excitement etc from the last few months.... but there aren't any!!!!

Stalker Cat is STILL here, although he's meant to be going back to his real mum next week. He has totally wheedled his way into my affections, although cleaning eye snot off the walls and picking white hairs off my clothes is not my idea of fun....

I've been trying to teach him that the tortoises are not toys, and although he still tries to cuff Lola, Reggie is never too far away to chase SC away (Yes, the Cat is scared of him) - very comical, as Reggie is only 3 inches long!

My boiler is currently being more temperamental than a woman with PMS, and it's pot luck if you're going to get a hot shower! I ended up going round my parent's yesterday for a hot bath, first one in 3 weeks!

Over the last few years, my mum has become obsessed with getting old and when she had a new bathroom suite fitted a few years ago, she got a "sit-up" bath, so that when she is in her 80's, she'll still be able to bath herself (she was in her 50's when she got this fitted, so god knows how long she thinks it's going to last). I don't really understand her logic though, as the bath side's are about 3ft high, so unless she thinking of becoming a geriatric high jump champion....

Shameful, nearly a 4 month break, and the only exciting thing I have to tell you about is taking a bath!!!!

Yaaaaaaaawn!

2008-03-02T06:20:00.002Z

Blimey, has it been this long??? Anyone would think I'd stuck myself in the fridge with the tortoises and hibernated!!!

Fostering...

2007-11-11T16:48:00.000Z

... Yay me! This weekend, I became a Foster Mum!

Yes, guess who's back.... Stalker Cat. Apparently things didn't turn out very well at his last foster home, so his mum has asked me to look after him until she's moved into her new flat.

The boy came back today, and you read about some of the abuse that goes on in these foster homes, but JEEZ.... looks like he was left to fend for himself!!!! So after we tried to clean him up a bit and groom him, he was REAL MAD at us, and stormed out of the house.... leaving us wondering if he'd run away, or was going to come back.

Well, he obviously wasn't that mad, because 30 mins later and he was back at the door begging to come in!

Ha, who's got the power now, eh, Stalker Cat?

Sad news

2007-11-06T20:48:00.000Z

It is with great regret, that I announce that Stalker Cat has been fostered out.

Never again will the fluffy-white flat-faced carpet-pooing mog manipulate me...

It's been a sombre weekend...

Typical!

2007-10-28T08:37:00.000Z

I chose a beige/ caramel coloured carpet in the end, which is actually a really bad colour choice for someone as clumsy as myself!!! I'm a bit paranoid about it getting dirty too quickly, so am still at the "can you take your shoes off?" stage, or "can I get you some socks to put on your barefeet? No, I INSIST!".... And curry and red wine is officially banned from my house!!!

Stalker Cat has only got away with coming into the house because a) he's got white hair, and b) my dad let him in while it was being fitted anyway! Even the tortoises haven't been allowed to walk on it yet!

Think I also feel a bit sorry for SC , as he's been a bit poorly recently, and his eyes have been particularly gunky. On Friday, I was running a bit late for work, and I opened the front door, and he was sitting on my door mat, with his eyes so gunky and crusty, that he couldn't open them. I quickly bathed them, so he could see again, and tried to put him back outside, so he wasn't locked up for 12 hours! Well, the little sod dug his heels in like a sheep at the edge of a cliff!!! So, fearing I was going to miss my train, I left him inside and went to work.

I phoned my dad up, and asked him to pop over that morning, to let him out - there was a litter tray down, and food and water, so I thought he'd be okay for a couple of hours.

Unfortunately, my dad didn't get round there til late afternoon. By that time, SC had completely filled his litter tray with the squits, and also done 2 on my bedroom carpet!!!

You know you're going soft, when you feel so sorry for an animal that you can't even get angry about your soiled new carpet!

At last!

2007-10-28T08:30:00.000Z

Well, I think my decorating project has finally come to an end... for now! I've still got R&L's bedroom to do, but this has been put on hold for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it's getting too cold to keep the windows open (worried about the paint fumes), and secondly, the room is being used to store furniture for a friend who will be moving within the next few weeks..... So, that room is on hold until my little babies go into hibernation *shudder*

The sofas finally came yesterday - which was about time, as I was soooo shattered, I needed something comfortable to flop into. Ahhhh, reality tv heaven in a recliner! What more could you hope for?

Busy bee

2007-10-17T19:49:00.000+01:00

Don't worry - that's not a reference to a new house guest/ pet!

Where has the time gone since my last blogging entry?

I have had a rather busy week or so.... continuation of the decorating project (nearly completed). I've also been trying to play "catch-up" at work, following my lurvely holiday!

In addition, it would appear that I have inadvertantly taken up a new career as an Extra. I am reliably informed that I was recently featured on The Bill!

NB - When I say featured, I mean that I was seen walking past the camera!

Getting beyond a joke now!

2007-10-08T09:01:00.001+01:00

Was having a lovely afternoon with Lady P, Little G and Ma of Lady P yesterday, when suddenly Lady P pointed out that "word must be out on the street" as I now have a fox living in my garden!

Is this a conspiracy in the Animal Kingdom, to try and eat me out of house and home, I wonder?

p.s. SC thinks he's soooo hard though, as he tried to front up to the fox (SC was sitting on a 6 foot wall at the time, so it doesn't really count!)

OHHHH MY GOD!!!!

2007-10-07T08:34:00.001+01:00

What's happened in the rugby then??? I don't know, I go away for a week, and it's all gone a bit weird! I was convinced Wales were going to go through! And now Australia AND NZ are out too!!!! Blimey!

Anyway, as you've guessed, I'm back! All refreshed, but minus my hair!!! Had a really great idea (thought so at the time) to get my hair cut while I was out there, and now I have hardly any! It's the shortest it's been for about 10 years! But, on the bright side, it's a "messy" cut, which means no more straighteners, no more brushing - so small mercy at least!

Stalker Cat was waiting for me when I got home, sitting outside my house, in the road, just starting at my front door! Ah bless! And he's not left my side since... although he'll have to go out soon, as I'm off round to see R&L in a mo, who've been staying at their grandparents - god, I bet they're out of their routine now, and totally spoilt!

Anyway, time to get on with that post holiday washing pile - eurgh!

Dearie me....

2007-09-28T17:51:00.000+01:00

...I've been sooooo busy at work lately, that I've totally been neglecting my responsibilities as a blogger! How amiss!

Mind you, not that there's been anything to blog about recently, except maybe the weird dream about Darth Vadar that I had! But on second thoughts, probably best I don't expand on that subject....!

Well, I've been off work for the last 2 days, and am actually going to be having a proper holiday!!! I've already packed the tortoises off to their grandparents... !

Obviously, as this is me, even a simple thing as packing can go horribly wrong! I was trying to get my suitcase down from a high shelf where I store it, and managed to "drop" a load of very heavy things on my head! One side of my face ballooned out, John Merrick style, and I have been spending most of the day trying to get the swelling to reduce. It's still a bit tender, but I've not seen any bruising yet - thank god! Imagine the holiday snaps!

England match tonight - and I'm a bit nervous about this one...!!!!

Heeeeeere's Jonny!

2007-09-22T22:11:00.001+01:00

How good was it to see Jonny back today? And a semi-decent performance by the rest of the team!!

R&L, SC and me sat on the sofa together to watch the rugby. Well, truth be known, Reggie and Lola were too busy trying to eat the cushions, SC was too busy yawning (and eventually snoring), so it was actually me watching the rugby!

SC is getting more used to R&L now, and has stopped looking as though he's going to pounce or swipe at them - still don't trust him on his own with them though!

Reggie is more interested in food, than SC - so he's pretty nonchalent (on good word list) around him!

Lola, on the other hand, is brave beyond compare! She actually went up to SC, and tried chomping the fur on SC's paw!

I reckon she remembers the Reggie V's Dyson incident!

Annoying things

2007-09-16T18:57:00.001+01:00

How badly our rugby team are playing!

Trapping my arm in a ladder (don't ask how I managed to do that).

Being given a really nice pc desk, and my brother accidentally damaging part of it.

Going to sleep in nice clean sheets, only to be woken when you realise there may be a small creature in bed with you - it was a peg.

Not checking you have removed pegs from your washing!

Hitting your head/ arm/ shoulder/ leg etc on pc desk when trying to transfer pc onto it!

Remembering you've got to go to work tomorrow

The good, the bad, and the darn right cheesey!

2007-09-14T15:28:00.000+01:00

I was watching Return of the King yesterday, and I COMPLETELY forgot about a line in it that just made me cringe when I heard it at the cinema - the bit were Eowyn takes off her helmet and says "I'm no man" ... *shudder*

Which is nearly as cheesey as that line in Backdraft "Look at him... that's my brother goddammit"

Why do director's let these kind of lines into films??? Unless it's going to be up with "Obi Wan has taught you well" then don't put it in!!!!

Tagged by the Miggins!

2007-09-10T18:56:00.000+01:00

I'm sure I'm always talking about myself, so not going to be able to come up with 8 things that no-one knows about me... but hopefully not everyone will know all of these:

Despite having an irrational fear about sharks, I went on a sailing course - and nearly drowned (really)
I once presented a greyhound owner with the winner's trophy at Romford dogs (obscure, I know)
The most intimidated I have ever felt was when I had to be questioned by the local chief government official in India, when getting a residency permit
The most "spooked" I ever felt was when I received a letter from the Environmental Health saying I had a highly infectious disease - I had visions of men coming in white suits, like in E.T. - turns out it was dysenntry.
Threw up when I was seven, because someone picked their nose and showed it to me - my friend heard me puking, which made her puke too!
My brother pushed me into a 3foot deep fishpond when I was 5 (might have been where I developed shark fear, as I swear he was telling me I was going to get eaten by one), and to avoid getting told off, he made up some cock&bull story of how he thought I was going to fall, so put out his hand to grab me etc. The one time he admitted that he pushed me (about 25 years later) my mum was too pissed to remember!
Although I am stalked by one, I don't really like cats
Went swimming with dolphins in Mexico.

Freaky Friday

2007-09-08T09:50:00.000+01:00

Spent a delightful evening round the Robbos last night, chatting conspiracy theories and watching the rugby (did anyone else think Danny Grewcock was playing for the Argentinians, or do I need to wear glasses?)

Decided to cycle there, rather than drive .... half way there, I realised that was a stupid mistake, but thankfully Mrs Robbo had a massive glass of water, and did not expect me to speak for about an hour!

Came home, and while I was putting my bike away, someone sneaked in!!! At first I didn't realise, as I was too busy trying to breathe. But when I was able to move again, I went to brush my teeth, and nearly had a heart attack when I saw 2 yellow eyes peering at me from behind the shower curtain... Yes, it was Stalker Cat doing his best Norman Bates impression!

And I suppose it's quite ironic, seeing as he treats this place like a hotel at times!!!

Jinx

2007-09-06T20:53:00.000+01:00

I've done a stupid thing today, which is a sure-fire way of jinxing England in the world cup!

I put a bet on England to win - had to, the odds were 25-1.

I apologise now!

Swing low...

2007-09-05T20:53:00.000+01:00

I really enjoy watching rugby, and love the way the players always seem to be really respectful towards the referee (even when they're making really rough decisions). The players never seem to criticise the match officials/ other team in the post-match interviews, and the losing team always seem to have the "better team won" attitude.

I sometimes wonder how different football would be, if the Football Association adopted some of the rules that Rugby Union have. Can you imagine how different it would be if Rooney got "sin-binned" for 10 minutes, rather than getting sent off? And the TV replay would have been great in the Hand of God incident!

The Rugby World Cup starts on Friday, and although I don't think we'll get further than the quarter-finals, I'm really looking forward to it. I got so emotional in the last final, that I cried - and roared with laughter at the way the Australian Prime Minister reacted when he was handing out the medals afterwards! Talk about publically being a bad loser!

Anyway, good luck to our boys!

a pretty pointless blog entry!

2007-09-05T20:39:00.000+01:00

I had my 6 month check up at a hopsital in Kent on Monday, and the good news is that although I'll always have to suffer with my digestion-related ailments, it can be controlled with medication, and the consultant was happy to discharge me, so I can be monitored by local GP's.

I was telling one of my buddies, and I suddenly realised how much I dislike the word "discharge". I'm also not keen on the words "moist" "pus" "misogynist" or "salubrious"

However, I do like the words "melancholy" "mellifluous" "benevolent" and "malevolent"

I do not have the faintest idea why!

Little girl's all grown up!

2007-09-03T09:01:00.000+01:00

I had a bit of a lay-in today, as I've got to go to Kent today.

This meant my little Reggie & Lola could stay in bed for longer. When I got up, I took their baths into their pens, but they were still in bed, so I left their baths there, and went and had a shower.

When I came out, little Lola had got out of bed, and climbed into her bath, all by herself.

Awwwwww, how cute is that?

Revenge update!

2007-09-02T09:02:00.000+01:00

Didn't work....

In fact, the little critter actually ran when I took the goggles and face mask off!!!

How rude!

Revenge time!

2007-09-01T16:02:00.000+01:00

I am now going to attempt to get my own back on Stalker Cat.

This morning I purchased a face mask and some goggles (like those freaky ones you had to wear in science classes) for my decorating

I am now going to put them on, and turn on the electric sander. If that don't scare him, eh?

Mind you, he'll probably think, why is she dressed up like the Prodigy?

scaredy cat scared of a cat!!!!

2007-09-01T11:40:00.001+01:00

Stalker Cat has 'upped the anti' a little bit recently, and for the last couple of days has been stalking me more than usual!

The only problem is, sometimes he has really made me jump! I know this is way too uncool to admit, and I should probably be following the Mrs Miggins school of thought, that "honesty is not always the best policy"......

However, I don't know if any of you remember the Sally Sparrow episode of Dr Who.. the "whatever you do, don't blink" one!?!? Well, Stalker Cat was sitting at the top of the stairs, staring at me, I blinked and then he was sitting in the same position, but halfway down the stairs, so I blinked again, and next thing, he was on the bottom step!!!! I was too scared to blink again, and when you've got itchy eyes from electric sanding, it's really hard!

That's not the first time it's happened either! Now I am beginning to wonder if he is an alien! God, I've just thought, you don't think my electric grill is a transformer, do you?

Don't ask how....!

2007-09-01T11:33:00.000+01:00

I'm often remined what an, erm, "unique" person I am, when I do things such as managing to set fire to a pair of oven gloves, while I am wearing them, using an electric grill!!!!

And then getting a burn on my hand, which does not correspond to the charcoaled area of the glove!!!!

Like I said, don't ask!

Beaker's Decorating tips - part 3

2007-08-30T21:02:00.001+01:00

Number 18

Although I would recommend a well-aired room whilst decorating, I would strongly suggest that if you are using yellow paint, you do not allow a white fluffy haired cat to wander in through an open patio door and try to climb onto your lap, no matter how ugly your friends think he is.

He may, indeed, want this year's cat-trend of blonde streak in his tail, but you have to think of the finished effect of your paintwork, and move him away from the walls.

Disclaimer - no cats were harmed during the discovery of this useful tip

Spreading a smile campaign - update

2007-08-30T20:59:00.000+01:00

After not much consideration, I have decided to exclude other people's cats from my random acts of kindness, and smile campaign.

This was after spending 10 minutes having to hand-feed Stalker Cat, who is getting WAY above his station, and then realising that I now have a third cat stalking me!

Please note:

2007-08-29T19:19:00.000+01:00

When people phone me up, they always say "hello, it's me"... I'm useless at recognising voices, and never immediately work out who "me" is. Obviously I always reply, "oh hello," with a tone that implies I know who I'm speaking to, while I frantically try and figure out from the conversation who "me" is - strangely, people always sound so offended if you ask who "me" is!

Of course, I have absolutely no chance of working out who "me" is, when you've dialled the wrong number.

Spare a thought for a poor confused girlie, won'tcha!

Beaker's decorating tips - part 2

2007-08-29T19:13:00.000+01:00

Number 17 -
If you do not wish to feel (or look) like you have been in a sandstorm in the Sahara, or smoked 20 fags in 1 hour, I would strongly recommend you wear glasses and a face mask whilst using an electric sander. In fact, I would probably recommend you forgo the sanding, and just put up with how it currently is! Unless, of course, you can get someone to do it for you!

Karma

2007-08-29T17:54:00.000+01:00

After spending most of the day yesterday drafting some poxy response for one of our compliance teams, I realised that it "just wasn't happening", so decided to leave it til this morning, to let a refreshed brain { yes Mrs Robbo, I do have a functioning one, after that comment you made earlier, grrrrr ;o) } take a look. On my way home last night, I picked up dropped items for passersby, held doors open for people, gave way to commuters etc, and tried not to think about this draft.

Today, I went into work, managed to re-write the document in about 30 mins, giving me enough time to finish other outstanding pieces of work, before going across London to a systems training course. The course went well, the nice chappie training us gave me a bottle of wine, let us out earlier than expected, and when I got to the station, a train was just about to leave, and I managed to get on that without breaking a sweat, arriving home an hour earlier!

So, did my day go well today because I was nice to people yesterday, or, when you are nice to people, does it make you feel good, which means you don't get all pee-d off and bitter about meaningless things? Or was it just that I fell "off the wagon" and had a diet coke at lunch time? {see, I just slipped that in, but I don't think anyone noticed}

I think I am going to make more of an effort to be nice to strangers, and people I know, just in case it's a karmic thing. NB - obviously if people are nasty, or spiteful, then they've chosen to opt out of becoming a beneficiary of the "spread a smile" campaign

So let's hope this lasts longer than my "I'm giving up Diet Coke" idea - oh come on, I must've done over a month without that, and it was only a teeny weeny bottle... and I'm not back on it for good, it was only one, honest guv!

I love Bank Holiday weekends

2007-08-28T20:00:00.000+01:00

When you are working Mon-Fri, and commuting, it's really easy to lose your weekend by catching up with all the stuff you've neglected during the week - ie gardening/ housework/ shopping/ family & friends/ X-factor etc. That extra day just makes you feel like you've got on top of everything again!

The only problem is, when you get back to work, it's like having double Monday morning tiredness! And for some strange reason, 4 day weeks always seem longer!

Doesn't help that I've got decorating muscle ache!

Now, where's that Radox?

Back to work tomorrow!!!

2007-08-27T21:17:00.000+01:00

Well, I've nearly finished decorating the front room! Would have been COMPLETED, if it were not for the fact that I ran out of paint! D'oh!

I saw Transformers this weekend - and have spent the rest of the weekend trying to work out what electrical items in my house are "robots in disguise!" I blame the paint fumes! But seriously, it was like watching one of the cartoons! I love Optimus Prime!

Would love to stop and chat, but I've got to tidy up the paint pots before I crash!

p.s. Only 5 bristles escaped from my paint brush, which was pretty good going, seeing as it was meant to be one of those brushes which DOESN'T lose any!

Birthdays

2007-08-22T19:40:00.000+01:00

I was watching some programme on BBC1 tonight, and they asked "how many people do you think you would need to ask, before you found 2 people with the same birthday?"

Having always been extremely annoyed that the one 'famous' person (or only other person I know of) who shares my birthday is Mariah bleeding Carey, I thought the answer was likely to be 100's, but apparently, it's only 35!

A reporter conducted an experiment to prove this theory. Firstly he asked a female passerby what she thought, and she went along the lines of 100's. He then bet her £20 that it would be less than 35! She agreed, and they proceeded to stop other people and mark off their birthdays on a calender. As this was going on, I thought "Grrrr Mariah Carey. Grrr!"

By the time they were up to about 25 passers by, the woman was feeling very confident that she was going to be £20 better off! A few people more, and they got a direct match!

And guess what the birthday was??? 27th March. Which is my one!

So ner to Mariah!

Talk about spoilt!

2007-08-21T20:50:00.000+01:00

Over the last couple of months, I've been trying to vary the little 'uns diets, so they're not just eating lettuce all the time!

As they're still really small, their tiny mouths aren't always strong enough to chomp through raw vegetables, so I thought I'd try them on some cooked runner beans! They loved them!

So, this morning, I ran a couple of runner beans through the runner bean cutter, so they could try them raw, and they'd be cut thinly enough for them to bite!

Little swines have turned their noses up at them! So looks like I'll be blanching all their veg from now on!!!! It's never easy being a mum!

Sums it up really...!

2007-08-20T19:55:00.000+01:00

"miaow," says Stalker Cat pitifully, as he gazes through my patio door, with those big sad yellow eyes! "miaow, let me in, please, I'm from a broken home, I need some love, miaow"

So, being a softie, I let him in, expecting nothing (but a little bit of gratitude, mind you).

Stalker Cat then marches to the front door, and with a change in tone that says "oi bitch, do as I say" demands to be let out!

So, I have gone from fostering the poor thing, while his parents were going through a bad patch, to being nothing but a thoroughfare!

Outrageous!

Decisions!

2007-08-20T19:01:00.000+01:00

I have a very tough choice tonight. Do I crack on with the decorating, or do my ironing?

Or, I could even sit and try and "convert" some more of my iTunes library so they can get off that poxy AAC format onto a more generic one! Damn, wish I hadn't thought about that, I've just managed to put myself in a bad mood - d'oh!

Breaking news!

2007-08-19T14:41:00.000+01:00

During my last couple of blogging entries, a couple of inmates broke through the barricades of the tortoise holding area, and were "on the run".

Luckily, due to the vigilance of a law abiding citizen, the tortoises were captured relatively close to the escape point. They have been taken back to the holding area, where they will be kept in solitary confinement for the foreseeable future!

A witness reported hearing a 'thud' as the barricades were broken, and then slow moving footsteps away from the scene.

An enquiry will be held into the security failings of this establishment.

How chic

2007-08-19T14:33:00.000+01:00

Having only recently realised that Kara-Louise (BB8) and Rogue (Xmen) are not the same person, I decided to completely ignore Beaker's Decorating Tips while painting the ceiling.

I now have a white stripe in my hair, just like theirs!

Shock! Horror!

2007-08-19T14:24:00.000+01:00

Britney in lezzer shock!

How is that a shock?? I find it more shocking that she ever found K-Fed attractive!?!?

If I had to, I would chose a woman rather than that weasel! I wouldn't even with yours!

Soooooooo..........

2007-08-18T21:05:00.000+01:00

........ who can explain to me how you'd discover that you can play the Hawaiin Guitar using your nose???

It's back!!!!

2007-08-18T18:29:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it's back!!! I am soooooo happy!

Reality TV at it's best = The X Factor!!!

So that means every Saturday night until Christmas, I will be staying in to watch telly!

Er, which probably isn't any different from any other Saturday....!

Beaker's decorating tips!

2007-08-18T07:48:00.000+01:00

Where possible, get someone else to do it for you, even if you have to pay them, or beg in a really humiliating fashion!
If number 1 not possible, then decide if it's really necessary to do the decorating, I mean, can't you just live with it a while longer?!?!
If number 1 and number 2 not possible, make sure you prepare the surfaces, with sugar soap, sanding down, dusting etc!
Once the walls are washed, revisit number 2 - sometimes those walls just need a bit of a "clean"!
Revisit number 1
Remember to cover all furniture, flooring, and preferably your hair too!
Stir paint, and then, using a really good paint brush that doesn't lose bristles, paint required surfaces in this order: Ceilings, woodwork, walls. NB - if, like me, you can't be bothered to clean brushes, just make do with cheap ones, and throw them away afterwards, but, just be aware you will need to pick stray bristles out of your paintwork
Wait for it to dry - go out and do some shopping. NB - remember to check you do not have paint splatters all over your face
Do not bother using radiator paint. Go to Homebase (other DIY stores are available) and purchase some radiator paint in an aerosol can. Remember to use in a well ventilated room, or else you will start to believe that you can fly with R-Kelly.
Get halfway through the room, and think, "wtf was I thinking, doing all this decorating?"
Try puppy eyes on your dad (didn't work)
Sulk
Overeat
Realise you still have to finish the fekking decorating, but it's OK, cos it's raining, so you can't do anything else anyway!
Remember you have a computer and broadband.
Forget about decorating, while you surf the world wide web!

Best laid plans!

2007-08-16T20:07:00.000+01:00

Ok, so the day hasn't gone quite as I planned it to! But oh well... looks like I may have found a carpet for downstairs, though, so I really MUST get my butt in gear and finish the decorating pretty damn soon!

Also, I was very surprised to find a very pretty black cat sitting on my couch today! And then a tortoiseshell one trying to get in, later in the day!

I am fast turning into catwoman - bleeding wish I was, I'd kill for that figure!!!

Where's the motivation when you need it?

2007-08-16T09:15:00.000+01:00

I've got the rest of the week off work, and I intended to get up early this morning, and carry on decorating the lounge.

Rather unsurprisingly, when I woke up early this morning, I thought "bugger this, I'm staying in bed" and only got up about an hour ago! And that was only because Stalker Cat was literally HOWLING outside my back door! He got a nice groom for that, so no doubt he'll never be doing that again!

So am I going to do some more decorating now? Am I f.? Nope, I'm going to get a hair bash, then toodle off round the shops, and slob out for the rest of the day!

Today, I am perfectly comfortable with my lazy cow status!

My iTunes library

2007-08-14T20:15:00.000+01:00

I've just deleted all the files in my iTunes library. This is because I realised I'd completely twatted up, and got everything under the wrong names blah blah blah.

Thought it was easier to just start over, than try and sort it out. But of course, now I've realised that I've got to burn them all again, so I've fekked up good and proper this time!

Remind me why iPods are meant to be a good invention?!?!?!?

Automatic updates!

2007-08-13T20:15:00.000+01:00

Now, much as I love my 20gb ipod, it's a bit big, bulky and heavy - and sometimes I just want to carry my little lightweight 1gb mp3 player with me. So, last night, I downloaded loads of tracks onto it, all ready for my commute!

I'm sure you can imagine how annoyed I was this morning, when none of the tracks played! Grrrr! And what made it even more annoying, was that I could see them on the mp3 player in the removable disk drive, but they just weren't showing in the menu! Double GRRRR!

It would appear that Apple are now using .AAC format for iTunes (god knows what this is), but it's not compatible with MP3 players! Why, oh why, do these companies insist on doing this???? Yes, I know it's so we have to go out and buy software etc from them! And how the frick do they expect 30 somethings like me to understand what codecs are?!?!

Aaaaargh! Is all I have left to say on the matter!

I don't know....

2007-08-12T18:12:00.000+01:00

.....I leave my babies alone for 5 minutes!

When my two little 'uns are out of their pens, I leave a bath mat on the floor under their water dish, so if they make a mess it soaks up, and they can also snuggle under it if they want a snooze!

Well, today, little Lola managed to move the mat in such a way that she was able to climb up it, and onto the bottom shelf of the book case!

I came into the room in time to see her dive-bomb off the bottom shelf onto the floor, nearly 3 inches below!

And that's why you don't leave your kids unsupervised!!!

My psychic abilities

2007-08-12T12:33:00.001+01:00

Fresh from the realisation that I am a "cat whisperer", I have realised I have the ability to connect with Reggie the tortoise on a psychic level.

There was I, looking down at my bare toes thinking that I needed to book a pedicure, as my toes were looking a bit grim.... and then, Reggie came over and started trying to bite my toes!

I must write a book about these newfound abilities, think of all the offers I'm going to get from Hollywood!!!

Quick catch-up

2007-08-11T17:16:00.000+01:00

After a long break, I went market whoring in North Weald today! Ah, it felt like I'd never been away!!!! Lovely bargains, where for art thou?

Stalker Cat came running down the street when he saw me arrive home, it was almost in slow motion... ah!!!!! Poor ickle fing looked very sorry for himself. Turns out he's FINALLY been to the vet to have the horrible fur balls shaved off. He's not as fluffy as he used to be, and you'd think he'd be grateful in this heat, but 'oh no!' he's gone back to barely letting you get near him!

I've got a couple of days off work next week, so I can do some decorating, allegedly. But seeing as I have a pile of "dvds to view", something tells me it ain't gonna get done! Volunteers apply within.

So now I will aim to wash some walls down - because apparently "it's all in the preparation"!!!!!

Lovely weekend

2007-08-06T20:01:00.000+01:00

I actually had a rather lovely, and productive weekend! I finally finished decorating the hallway, thank gawd, and managed to do a ton of gardening while it was still cool enough to move!

The lovely Mrs Robbo then joined me for a Sunday afternoon gossip session, which was nice and relaxing. Luckily she was content with an effortless cheese & onion sarnie, as it was WAY TOO HOT to cook!

And Mrs Robbo was kind enough to humour me while I prattled on about how Stalker Cat "wasn't now my cat," and that "his owners would be taking him back any day," whilst he was sitting on my lap eating treats out of my hand!!

In the evening, one of my other buddies dropped by. Stalker Cat, having spent most of the day coming and going, decided to bring me a feather, in the most dramatic way he could think of... picture this: the patio doors were open, but the vertical blinds were shut, when suddenly, Stalker Cat bursts through 2 slats (like a dog jumping through a burning hoop), only to get caught by the little ropes that join the bottom of the slats. Quite frankly, he just looked really "uncool"!!!

I practised some of my reflexology on my buddy, and was put in my place in a very assertive way when I tried to explain that his feet were telling me he was having a few problems with his bowels! Although I was UBER sympathetic, when I found out later that he'd had the "runs" when he got home, there was a little smug part of me thinking "the feet never lie"!!!

Be warned!

What is Russell Grant implying????

2007-08-05T05:51:00.000+01:00

These, apparently, are my stars for tomorrow:

Aries (Mar21-Apr20) If you'd like to transform your body, begin today. Overhaul your diet and exercise regime with the help of a medical professional. By this time next year, you won't be able to recognise yourself. You'll be great at getting in shape and increasing your endurance. You could attract a lot of favourable attention from this metamorphosis. If you're looking for work, you could find an opportunity in pharmaceuticals, vitamins, or agriculture.

Let me just repeat "with the help of a medical professional" - is he trying to say I need cosmetic surgery?!?!

Outrageous!

Lightweight!!!!!

2007-08-04T06:24:00.000+01:00

My sister-in-law is officially a bad influence on me!

I met her and my big bruv yesterday for a "catch-up" after work, and within 2 minutes I had a Brandy and Ginger in front of me! I rarely drink.... and it showed. Cheap date springs to mind!

We ended up in a Tapas bar, which was Yum!

I have to confess, even after only having a few, I was a bit tipsy, and I think my bruv started to feel all responsible and big brotherly, because he insisted on making sure I got to the station (obviously I am not believing that it's because he didn't think I was capable of getting there on my own!)

Managed to embarrass myself, because as I was walking down the platform, I looked through the train window, and thought I saw an old friend. I banged on the window, and as I was doing a big cheesy grin and waving frantically, I suddenly realised that I didn't know them after all! oops!

Then, as I was getting off the train the other end, I got accosted by the happy drunk who couldn't stop giggling, and could barely stand! Typical of me getting the nutter, wanting to strike up a slurred conversation about nothing! Mind you, it was worth it, because as we were walking out of the station, he completely misjudged the gate, and walked into the post! That's going to be a U.D.I (unidentified drinking injury) in the morning!

So a good night - and hey, I couldn't have been TOO drunk, as I didn't phone up my ex and tell him I LUURRRVVVE him, which *ahem* obviously ladies never do!

One girl and her stalker cat!

2007-08-01T21:19:00.000+01:00

I am turning into a "Cat Whisperer"

Stalker Cat has just let me brush him (not his tummy or his tail though) without growling or scratching.... okay, so I was armed with a load of cat treats, but still!

Someone phone ITV for me, I'm sure we can get a series out of this!

It's official....

2007-07-31T19:18:00.000+01:00

.... I AM a neurotic tortoise owner!

The vet said the tortoises are fine, although Lola's tail is beginning to curve round like a male's!

Ooops! Thank god for that Kinks song, I think I can get away without changing her name!

Some people...

2007-07-31T17:37:00.000+01:00

... are so bleeding ignorant!

I went to the hospital for a blood test yesterday, and saw 2 hood rats arranging their chav calender via their mobiles, whilst sitting by a MASSIVE sign which said, "do not use your mobile phones in the hospital."

Obviously I didn't "ahem" and point to the sign, as I was too scared of getting scarred by their gold sovereign rings

Reasons not to have a pet!

2007-07-29T08:51:00.000+01:00

I don't know why I get so soppy over animals!

Yesterday, I spent half the day clearing up tortoise poo (6 of them), which they seemed to have stored up over a few days, and the other half trying to entertain a cat, which I couldn't let out as he had to go to a grooming parlour!

And how noisy was he when he was in the car? Not a stressed miaowing, more like a "WTF have you put ME, yes, that's ME, in this cage for?" irritated one!

Having charmed all the ladies at the parlour, I left him, only to get a phone call 15 minutes later asking me to go and pick him up as they hadn't been able to finish him. Apparently he was "getting stressed", ie was trying to scratch the hell out of them!

Still he looked much better than he did before he went in there, and smelt very nice and girly too (bet he didn't like that!). Anyway, when we got home, and I let him out, it was like "run, Forest, run".

I didn't see him again til this morning, when he turned up wet, dishevelled, and covered in oil! Well, that was definitely not the best £15 I've ever spent!

Do you think...

2007-07-28T06:26:00.000+01:00

... that we should introduce the same kind of "exercise regime" in our prisons, that they appear to have in the Philippines?

Some might say its cruel&unusual, and violates human rights, while others will think it looks like a fun place to be!

Shush....! Don't tell the cat!

2007-07-27T19:02:00.000+01:00

Well, apologies for not blogging for a couple of days, but I've actually had a social life. I know you'll find that VERY hard to believe, but its true... so there!

Now, I'm going to briefly mention this, so you can all get your p-taking out of the way.... I've booked Stalker Cat into a grooming parlour, after speaking to my neighbour about his poo-ey bum (the cat's bum, that is). It's tomorrow, but I very much doubt I'll be able to get him over there, as I have no clue how to catch him, or entice him into my house at exactly the right time. So for christ sake, no-one tell him!

Just so they don't feel left out, I've also booked a vet's consultation next week for my babies.... I'm still a bit worried about how tiny Lola is... and I just know he's going to say that Reggie is a girl, and Lola is a boy!

Anyways, am off out AGAIN.... crikey, I don't know how much of this I can take, I'm not as young as I used to be!

My little porker, part 2

2007-07-24T20:59:00.001+01:00

Lazychops Lola absolutely REFUSED to get out of her bed to eat today! Instead I had to move the lettuce near to her, so she could eat without moving!

It would appear that I am spoiling her!

Commuting, part 605

2007-07-24T20:40:00.000+01:00

Here's a simple commuting equation:

driver's carriage + leak + electrics = 8 carriages reduced to 4 = not a happy journey for moi!

A very sweet old man, dressed in waterproofs, with a cup of tea in one of those Thermal Cups, sat next to me on the train this morning. He made me feel all sort of "aw, cute grandad"

After a while, as I started to snooze, I started to get flashbacks to the caravan holidays I endured as a child {Note: not that there's anything wrong with caravan holidays, but on a slow-blog day, remind me to tell you about some of our exciting caravan adventures} These "flashbacks" started to freak me out a bit, and I couldn't work out why I was having them.

Eventually I realised, it was the waterproofs... they had a faint "not quite dried out" aroma... not in a bad way, but one that obviously triggered some remote memory of putting not-quite-dry waterproofs on, so I could trek across the campsite to go to the "Site toilet" - {one of dad's STRICT rules was that the caravan toilet could only be used for number 1's at night-time, although apparently he was exempt from this rule, as he emptied it!}

In addition to this, there were 2 bints sitting in my carriage that insisted on talking "shop" at 6.06 in the bleeding morning, for 34.2 minutes. How blooming inconsiderate is that? They need to get a life!!!!!

Aw nooooooooooo!

2007-07-24T20:08:00.000+01:00

A For Sale sign has gone up next door. That means Stalker Cat is moving.

I feel a little bit sad now!

On the bright side, I don't have to hoover every day, and no more gunky-eye clean-up sessions!

One of my fave dinners...

2007-07-23T19:48:00.000+01:00

I had Bangers and Mash tonight - love it !

And YES, it can still taste good when you use veggie bangers!

Manic Monday

2007-07-23T18:53:00.001+01:00

{Sorry Cuttsy, hope you weren't looking to use that for one of your song-title blog entries!}

We had a "proper" fire drill today - no warnings or anything! Took us all by surprise, and then peeved us right off when we saw the weather! Luckily there was a break in the clouds, and we didn't get wet! Also, thank gawd for the change in location.... when we were at the Docklands, we had to walk down 30 flights of stairs, but now it's only 4 (I can even manage the walk up afterwards now).

I laughed out loud on the train this evening. I was reading this naff magazine that someone had given me about "fate and fortunes". It had a letters page, and one of the letters was from someone who lived in Southend-on-Sea. It read something along the lines of "I've recently met up with my ex, who I still have feelings for. Do you think we're going to get back together again? I've sent you a picture of my trainers, as I go running a lot." WTF??? Makes you proud to be a seasider!

Thanks to all of you who did the Crush Calculator, and don't worry, your secrets are safe with me... Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaa! Naughty people, you know who you are!

My little porker

2007-07-22T18:51:00.000+01:00

Nanny grew some nice vegetation for my little babies. They couldn't climb up their log bridge/ ramp quick enough - they loved it, so "thank you, nanny".

The problem was, one of them ate too much, and got stuck climbing out of her water bowl! Silly thing!

Thank Fek For...

2007-07-22T15:06:00.000+01:00

... a friend telling me about the new Dulux paint invention-ey thing that goes on pink, but dries white. For the first time EVER my ceiling looks as though it has been COMPLETELY painted, rather than looking all patchy. [well, I say completely, but I've only done the hall bit, and not the lounge part]

My arms are killing me now, so I've given up on doing anything else for the rest of the day... so thank gawd for my big bruv lending me The X-files, season 1 boxset!

By the way, got the duvet back from the dry cleaners - there is STILL a bright orange stain on it from the Lucozade spillage. It bleeding cost £14 to dry clean too - I should've just paid the extra and got a brand new duvet! Grrrr

Anyway, Fox is waiting for me.....

Bit of fun...

2007-07-22T09:07:00.000+01:00

The Crush Calculator

How annoying!

2007-07-22T08:58:00.000+01:00

I did some more "glossing" last night, in my slow-progression decorating project.

Imagine how annoying it is to go and "view" your artwork to see it ruined where you've slapped on too much paint in one spot, and it's run! So now I've got to sand a bit of it down again, and re-gloss! That's just going to set me back even further!!!

Grrrr!

Don't miss me tooooooo much!

2007-07-21T08:29:00.001+01:00

Something has come up, meaning that it's unlikely that I'll be able to post a blog for the next few days!

Now, where's that Harry Potter book......

It's official then!

2007-07-19T20:10:00.000+01:00

I am apparently a "dodgy looking citizen".

The sniffer dogs were at Fenchurch Street station yesterday, and despite the fact that I was walking into the station with buddies, the nice dog handler singled me out for a good sniff! From the dog, that is.

Of course, being from Essex, I completely mis-read the situation, and put on a stoopid voice saying "helloooo youuuu, who's a pur-widdy boy den?", oh and then I turned round and gave the dog a pat, so he didn't feel left out!

;o)

I'm still Coke (zero) free...

2007-07-18T19:56:00.000+01:00

.... but they've only gone and brought out a new Coke flavour!

Grrrr, why couldn't I have known this last month before I gave it up? I'm trying to ensure I don't "fall off the wagon" by telling myself it's probably disgusting and just brown Fanta!

Just in case you didn't realise, I'm a bit irritable at the moment! That's because (having no microwave at the moment) I had to oven cook my dinner, which isn't really a problem, but I was STARVING! So having to wait an extra hour didn't help. I then shovelled in my first mouthful of food, and burnt my tongue!!!! It's sore now, and has got that sandpaper-y texture!

I should have just had a bowl of cereals!

The iPod ....

2007-07-16T19:51:00.000+01:00

.... is such a great invention, but also an absolute pain!

I spent ages sorting out all the cd's that I wanted to put onto my ipod, and then spent even longer loading them onto my iTunes library. Annoyingly, most of the cd's just read the track listing (ie Track 1), rather than song title, so I had to sit and type all the bleeding song titles onto iTunes. Then I had to wait about 7 hours while all the darn songs transferred onto the blessed thing!

Eventually I realised that because I'd loaded every single track from each cd, that I was spending half my train journey fast forwarding through all the "b-side" equivalents, til I got to the songs I liked. So out of about 3000 tracks, I was actually only listening to about 750!

For the last couple of weeks, in between sitting on my arse, and running round after R&L/ Stalker Cat, I've been deleting a load of tracks that I don't like, and then uploading other tracks that I do like! So, please read and learn..... if you decide you want an ipod, only bother loading your "greatest hits" cds, or else you will start to lose the will to live, like I have!

Happy Daze!

2007-07-15T17:25:00.000+01:00

One of my beloved buddies came round this afternoon, for a good gossip. Afterwards, she gave me a Reiki session.... I haven't felt this relaxed for ages!

Ah, alternative therapies! Simply the best.

So now I know...

2007-07-15T12:01:00.000+01:00

Well, I took the advice of Mr Miggins (not the one that is also known as David Tennant, the other one!), and boy am I glad I did!

The reason that you do the skirting boards before the walls, is that when you remove the masking tape after finishing glossing, half the paint work from the walls comes off!

I would have been well peeved if I'd done the walls first, and then that happened!!!!

The Big Smoke

2007-07-14T12:19:00.001+01:00

I met my lovely sister-in-law after work yesterday (didn't realise how close she works to me)!

We then went to a very nice pub in (get this!) Knightrider Street, called The Centre Page, where we caught up with one of my big bruv's buddies, before the "birthday boy" arrived. I did have a bit of a chuckle when I saw a picture of "The Hoff" behind the bar!

There was a bit of a tense moment when I had to navigate the spiral staircase down to the loos, because I just don't understand the etiquette on these types of stairs - who has the right of way, and who's meant to go on the narrow bit?

We ended up in a very nice Thai restaurant afterwards - yum yum! And then we went our separate ways so I could go and catch the Vomit Comet on the way home! Thankfully not too much vomit, although a load of pissheads were on it!

Bumped into an old work buddy, so I sat with him and had a good gossip before falling into my customary commuting snooze! 5 minutes later, I was nursing a incredibly painful elbow. My buddy thought it would be very funny to quickly move the side of his finger up and down between my lips! I jumped... about 10 foot in the air and bashed my elbow against the wall! Much to his amusement! After that I was too paranoid to go to sleep, so we ended up playing mobile phone mini golf! And Hardy Ha, I thrashed the pants of him! Poetic Justice, if you ask me!

Reason why it's important to pay attention to detail!

2007-07-14T12:15:00.000+01:00

I thought I'd screwed the bottle top of my Lucozade really tightly!

Apparently I didn't!

Now I have a bright orange stain on my duvet cover, duvet, fitted sheet and my mattress!

:o(

Any ideas for how to get rid of the stain on the mattress will be greatly appreciated!

Back to work today :o(

2007-07-11T20:37:00.000+01:00

Had a lovely couple of days off with my buddy, and the weather was great too!

My poor pal wasn't feeling too good though, so fell asleep on one of my couches on Monday afternoon. I was pretty shattered too, but was sensible enough to go upstairs and lie down on my nice comfortable bed for a siesta! An hour or so later, I went back downstairs to see how my friend was. She was covered in white fur!!! Apparently, Stalker Cat had sneaked in through the patio doors (again) and climbed on top of her so he could have a snooze too! He is a little shite!

Luckily (unlike myself) she's a MAJOR cat lover!!! Still we got our own back, and cleaned/ groomed him! Again, remind me why I'm doing this???

Shame I had to go back to work today! But, at least I've only got 2 more days until the weekend! Wooo Hoooo!

p.s. am still loving Brian, but really like Liam now too!

My lovely door!

2007-07-08T11:42:00.000+01:00

I don't want to give the impression that my house, and everything in it, is falling to bits, but, a few weeks ago I had to get a new front door fitted, as the old one was knackered, and only someone with special "heroes/ jedi" powers could lock it properly [that's me, by the way]!

As per usual, there was a bit of a "saga" with this... I was let down by one company several times (Thermoshield), and ended up going to a company called Dalmatian (totally recommend - family firm, unbelievably cheap but good quality doors).

I bought the house 10 years ago, when it was a "reposession" property, and had been vacant for over a year. It needed a lot of work doing to it, as the previous owners had ripped out some of the fixtures/ fittings etc. Also, one of the owners was a bit of a DIY fanatic, but not a very good one.... and is kind of responsible for the problems I had trying to get a new front door!

Anyway, the security firm came this week, and attached the alarm fittings to the new door, so it's all done now! Well, sort of, because now I have to decorate, as some of the paintwork is chipped etc, as you'd expect.

So I've sugar soaped, and am already to put off the painting til I can be arsed! Which will probably be about the same time as I finish the tortoise pen!

But out of interest, what order am I meant to paint in? Is it ceiling, woodwork, walls? Or ceiling walls, woodwork? And any volunteers? Nope? Didn't think so!

My poor microwave

2007-07-07T18:56:00.000+01:00

Last weekend, I managed to crack the door on my microwave. It was a complete freak accident, I just pressed the door release button, and the door flung open and hit the wall, cracking it slightly.

I was telling my parents about it later in the day, and my mum did a Major guilt trip on me, about how I should now get rid of the microwave, as I was risking the lives of "little R & L", as they might now get radiation poisoning... notice how R&L got a mention, but not a scooby about moi!

Obviously there was not an ulterior motive, and it was a mere co-incidence that they had a load of junk that needed taking down the dump!

As I don't really use the microwave much, I decided not to rush into getting another one!

So, how come when you hardly ever use something, as soon as you get rid of it, you want to use it every day? And of course, if I rush out tomorrow and buy another one, I probably won't want to use it for a month!!!

Congratulations me!

2007-07-07T09:57:00.000+01:00

It's been a WHOLE week since I had a can of coke! Blimey - certainly didn't think I'd last this long!!!!

Unfortunately, the withdrawal symptoms have been so bad, that I've done fek all housework all week! NB - that's the official reason, real reason is that I'm a lazy bint!

So now I'm ashamed of the state my house is in, and panicking because I have to get it clean for my buddy, by tomorrow.

Of course, when you have to do something, you can never find the motivation! Everything started well, and I was on hands and knees cleaning the bedroom of the little 'uns (R & L) earlier on. Then Stalker Cat decided it would be really funny to keep walking past me while I was doing this, and slapping my face with his tail! Not amusing in the slightest! Talk about demanding! Anyway, stopped doing that, and have lost momentum now!

And it doesn't help that the computer is in their bedroom - another distraction! And that the sun is actually shining, making me want to go and sit out in it! Also, I have to dog-sit today, as my mum and dad have gone to Hampton Court Flower show!

Oh well, will force myself to move onto the second room now......

good day

2007-07-05T19:24:00.000+01:00

Wa-hey - got a couple of days off next week. One of my bestest buddies is coming down to stay for a few days, and I haven't seen her for 10 months! Really looking forward to it.

And DHL have written an apology letter, and offered me £50 compensation. Blimey!

I'm tired!

2007-07-04T19:45:00.000+01:00

Haven't had any Coke since Saturday... am beginning to get a bit irritable now though!

However, this may be due to the fact that I had an "aisle" seat on the way home, and was sat next to a couple who insisted on fekking talking the WHOLE journey, and only got off 2 stops before me. Meaning I couldn't snooze!

Also got home to find a dead bird on my patio! Seeing as cats seem to multiply in my garden now, I have no idea which one I should be thanking!

Day 2 coke free zone

2007-07-02T20:04:00.001+01:00

After all this time, I finally have a favourite in Big Brother!

For the last couple of weeks, I've not been able to get into it - too many people in the house for me to keep up with - so I've been relying on Mrs Robbo to let me know what's going on!

Anyway, I've managed to watch a few segments now, and although the twins with their psychopathic/ telepathic abilities have come a close 2nd, my absolute current fave is Brian!

How confused did he look when he found out that women actually poo?? And the way he screamed at Charley and Billy when they were shouting, made me think "awwww my little soldier's all grown up now". Not to mention the "Shakespeare couldn't have written Babe:Pig in the City as it was far too good"

Oh how I adore him now!

p.s. no coke for two days!

Chez Ruthie

2007-07-01T20:56:00.001+01:00

It would appear that Stalker Cat has been telling all his cat mates about me! Today I have seen 2 different cats lying down on my patio!

I feel I may turn into the old spinister, known by the locals as "the cat lady" who eventually has no contact with humans, just her trusty feline friends.

But on the bright side, I didn't have any Coke today!

Coke update!

2007-06-30T20:22:00.000+01:00

I've just tried Ribena Light Blueberry juice in sparkling water!

The fizzy Vimto Light is better.

p.s. I cried in Dr Who (again)
p.p.s Did anyone else think the bit with the ring was a bit like Flash Gordon?

Cold turkey for me!

2007-06-30T18:29:00.000+01:00

Nope, not going back to the meat eating way of life just yet!

I've decided that I'm going to try and give up Coke (as in the liquid), which is my only really awful addiction these days! This is a really big deal for me, as I'm seriously addicted to the stuff - I'm don't really want to give it up, but I know I've got to, as it's so bad for your guts.

I can't give up fizzy drinks just yet though (one step at a time). So I'm currently checking out what other light/diet/zero options are on offer. At the moment I'm trying diet fizzy Vimto - the first few mouthfuls were a bit 1980's, but it's growing on me.

D-day is likely to be this Tuesday (can't start it on a Monday) - gawd, this is going to be SOOOOOO hard!

Feel free to lay bets as to when I cave! I'm not even sure I'll make it to Wednesday!

We don't need no...!

2007-06-30T08:49:00.000+01:00

Went to see Pink Fraud with the Robbos last night!

They opened with Side A of The Wall, and I started to think, "crikey, they're not doing the whole album are they?"

After 20 minutes they started doing a different album, and then another one. etc.... One album I'd given away because I didn't really like, and I hadn't even heard the other tracks....

So after 1 hour, I started to think "Crikey, I wished they'd done the whole The Wall album"

However, saying that, the band WERE really good musicians, and it Mr Robbo's friends were really lovely.

How girlie!

2007-06-28T20:56:00.001+01:00

I was going to do a Hopi Ear Candle treatment tonight, but then I remembered I was going to a "gig" tomorrow night, so thought it best I leave the treatment til the weekend!

So I dyed my eyelashes instead!

So nowI have lovely eyelashes, to go with my bleeding awful spots!

He'll be back!

2007-06-28T20:46:00.000+01:00

I do believe that Stalker Cat might be trying to make me jealous!

He saw me cuddling Reggie yesterday, and carrying him round the house while I was chatting on the phone.

Tonight, Stalker Cat is sitting on the roof of my shed with his back to me. Every now and then, he glances over his shoulder to see if I'm looking at him!

Obviously I pretend I am not!

When I see.....

2007-06-26T21:37:00.000+01:00

websites like this, it makes me wish I lived within the M25!

I'd buy them for myself!

rubbish day!

2007-06-26T19:28:00.000+01:00

Work is a NIGHTMARE at the moment. Out of a team of 8, there's only been 3 of us in this week! We're obviously the "backbone" of the team!

I got home and Stalker Cat was sitting on my lawn waiting for me. As soon as I got out the car, he had his front paws up against my front door, trying to push it open.

10 minutes later I was sat on my kitchen floor, with a bowl of saltwater, cotton wool and cotton buds, cleaning his gunky eye! It was at this point that I thought "why the hell am I doing this, when he's not mine?"

Still, he's getting very good now, and lets me Q-tip clean the creases in his face, and wipe off all the gross gunk, without running away or trying to claw me! Amazing what cat treat bribes can achieve!

Post script

2007-06-25T20:54:00.000+01:00

By the way, this "ex-colleague" was the same person who left a manky apple in his desk when he went on holiday!

It was so disgustingly rotten when he came back, that from the top it actually looked like a donut! When he picked it up to throw it in the bin, he squeezed cider out of it!!!!

YUK! YUK! YUK!

Another weird thing about me!

2007-06-25T18:30:00.000+01:00

I know you're going to find this a bit hard to believe, but I can be a bit quirky at times!

Bruised fruit, particularly bananas, make me feel a bit queasy.... and sometimes, if I see someone eating a banana which has black/brown bits on it, I start wretching.

Several years ago, an ex-colleague of mine put a banana on the drawers under my desk - the skin was already dark brown, so he guessed that it was going to be pretty bruised inside! The problem was, he chose to do this on a Monday morning, not realising I had the whole week off work. Of course, he promptly forgot about it, and when I came back to work the next week, all I could smell was rotten bananas. It took me a little while to find the source of the smell, and by that time, the banana was so rotten, it was slimy to touch. I had to forensically bag my hand, before I could pick up the squelching thing, trying not to chunder over the little blighter who'd put it there! I should have just yakked on him, but I'm far too nice to do that!

Anyway, today, imagine my horror when some woman plonked herself next to me and started eating a brown banana. Eurgh! I had to stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes, rock back & forth gently, while singing "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" in my head to focus on not spewing!!!!

Then the frikking cow kept on falling asleep on my shoulder, so I've probably got mushed banana drool on my clothes now too!

A very traumatic thing happened to me today.....

2007-06-24T19:26:00.000+01:00

I decided to postpone the completion of my "project" - mainly cos I've run out of wood, oops! NB - mental note: make sure I have EVERYTHING I need before starting any future projects!

Anyway, this meant that I no longer had an excuse to put off doing the housework! Even though I was distracted for a while when Stalker Cat turned up completely drenched... obviously I had to dry him, brush him and clean his gunky eye (much to his disgust) before I could do anything else.

So, with no more excuses, I carried on with the dusting/ ironing/ hoovering/ washing etc! I cleaned and disinfected the tortoise pens, so they were all nice and clean for them to go back into (somehow I don't believe they will be too pleased about that). While I was cleaning their room, Reggie fronted up to the Dyson again!

Then all of a sudden, the Dyson cut out! I was traumatised at the thought of it dying! But then 5 minutes later, it started again... Gawd knows what was wrong with it - I can only assume that Reggie's brave move had a very profound affect on it!

Oh, and finished watching Vanished the other day, and guess what? That's been cancelled too!!!! Grrrrr! But have now started to watch The Class, which is kinda funny... half way through it, I thought, "I recognise that bloke" - and it's only Sean Bleeding Maguire!!!! I totally forgot about him!

another bright idea!

2007-06-23T16:01:00.000+01:00

Today I decided to make Lola and Reggie a playpen! I don't really know why I chose today, but it's probably because I really can't be arsed to do my housework, even though my house is in desperate need of a good clean!

Of course, after ten minutes of sawing wood, I started to wish I had taken the "housework" option! I also started to wish that I knew what I was doing.... bleeding All Girls school meant cookery & needlework and no woodwork or metal work!!!!

Anyway, I have only got a hardly-noticeable cut on my finger, a blister and dry glue on my hands, which on Planet Ruthie means it has been quite a successful project so far!

P.S It's also a project that will probably not get finished!

My feet are killing me!

2007-06-20T21:25:00.000+01:00

I've spent most of the day walking across London, and my poor tootsies are feeling very poorly!

I'm really enjoying Vanished at the moment - Shock, Horror, they did a "Joss Whedon" halfway through the season.... don't want to give away what that is, but seeing as Mrs Robbo is probably the only person who will understand what that means, I've only spoilt it for one person!!!

Meant to sit down tonight and catch up on Big Brother, but one of my buddy's dropped by, so that plan has been postponed!

So now I must go and soak my poor weary feet, before they drop off.....!

Torture endured when commuting...

2007-06-19T18:12:00.000+01:00

This week I have nearly committed train rage on numerous occasions!

And it's not down to the usual reasons, like loud music/ getting squashed against a window/ sitting next to someone talking in their phone really loudly.... Nope, it's a new chart entry - the really, really, really, really, really annoying sniffing that everyone is doing. One person sniffs, and then it's like a Mexican wave up and down the carriage as everyone else joins in... it's Chinese Water Torture!

Ok, so it's hayfever season, and people can't help having runny noses, but surely people can remember to take a fekking pack of tissues with them? I did! Although by the end of the journey I didn't have any left as I'd forced them onto the people sitting closest to me!

How about this for an idea: hayfever season + people sniffing = time for Kleenex to do some "promotional" work on the trains. Hand out some packs of travel tissues, and save me from getting arrested for throttling someone!

p.s. I learnt today that it doesn't matter how loudly your volume goes, you can still hear sniffing. {NB - this was just an experiment, I'm not usually one of those ignorant, inconsiderate commuters}

My great ideas!

2007-06-18T20:37:00.000+01:00

Had this really great idea to invite my mum and dad round for dinner yesterday. Of course, I didn't actually think about what I had in the cupboards until after I'd asked them. Fantastic! Shopping on a Sunday morning, just what I needed!

I decided to have another idea, and try cooking something new - Thai Green Curry! Big mistake! I had to walk up and down the aisles several times trying to find frikkin' Kaffir Lime Leaves, and it all started to become a bit stressful!

Of course, before I'd gone shopping, I'd had another idea, and actually told them what I was going to cook! Even bigger mistake... because if you end up serving something different, it just says "I'm a crap cook, and I can't follow a recipe"

Anyway, it all turned quite nice, but a bit hot!!! Will have to put more coconut milk in next time.... I will probably be having this quite a lot, seeing as I now have a whole jar of those lime leaves!

After lunch, Mum decided to pop upstairs and see her grandchildren (Reggie and Lola), but dad was too comfortable on the sofa. I don't think she was very impressed when she came down half an hour later to find me dozing on one sofa, dad quietly snoring on the other sofa, and Stalker Cat sprawled out on the floor asleep!!!!

But hey, Sunday afternoon kips - can't beat them!

p.s. My lastest cheesy US TV show addiction is Vanished! VERY GOOD!

Round up!

2007-06-16T06:15:00.000+01:00

Ah, finished reading (again) To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee yesterday. I love that book! And I've just started re-reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Recently, I've been finding it really difficult to find a book that I actually want to finish, so decided to turn to some of the old classics!

Britains Got Talent is still making me laugh and cry each night! It's such a shame that the Baton Twirler didn't get through to the final, but at least Nessum Dorma guy did!

Amanda Holden is beginning to REALLY wind me up. She was a complete bitch the other day, telling someone they'd had their 15 mins of fame, so why don't they pretty much get lost now, and that they didn't have as much talent as herself etc! This comes from the woman who went on Blind Date to get her 15 mins of fame, and lets not even get into the Les Dennis marriage!!! And what is it with female panelists foreheads? Why don't they move? More annoying, is her tears. When I cry my nose goes bright red, tears and snot stream down my face, my face goes blotchy, and I'm not very good at crying quietly either etc. However, when Ms Holden cries, these 2 thin dribbles of water come out of her eyes, but that's it!!!! Then she does this pathetic fanning of her eyes (a la Miss Congeniality)! Lady P did explain that was probably so the audience, who sit behind her, could tell she was crying! And, incidentally, how is she an "expert" on talent???

Lola and Reggie are getting cuter by the day. I came home one night this week, to find them sitting side by side on a lettuce leaf eating it together! Awwwwww! Then, while Lola was distracted by food, Reggie decided to go to sleep under a towel. Then, when she'd finished eating, she couldn't see him, so spent the next half an hour frantically running round the room trying to find him!!! Bless her, she's not the brightest spark, and at one point actually climbed on the towel, and was standing on him while she surveyed the room!!!

Looks like its going to be a nice day today! Can I be arsed to mow my lawns?? Probably not!

This is becoming a habit...

2007-06-13T22:23:00.000+01:00

..... I cried again in Britain's Got Talent!!!

I don't believe it's to do with my hormones, or the DHL saga! Or my unrequited love for Ant and Dec (yes, both of them). But I don't know what it is!

Thank God it's not on til Christmas, I'd be dehydrated by then!

But the next 4 shows are LIVE - oooooo, me poor nerves!!!

Dilemma!

2007-06-13T22:20:00.000+01:00

I've just caught Stalker Cat trying to torment my baby hedgehogs!

The cat is on its way out!

[and that's not some crazy 'allo 'allo style coded message]

Update on DHL saga part 3

2007-06-13T17:58:00.000+01:00

And, rather surprisingly, the parcel didn't come today either!!!!

Pass the Kleenex

2007-06-12T22:18:00.000+01:00

I cried in Britains Got Talent.

Again!

p.s. and it wasn't at the impromptu version of Lets Get Ready to Rumble