Oh what a surprise....

... Ruthie's moaning about commuting again!!!

When you commute, you pretty much resign yourself to the fact you will always have someone sitting next to you, but it really pisses me off when someone sits next to me when the train's half empty, and we haven't even reached Southend Central. This usually means I have to stop reading my newspaper [unwritten rule: can't go over the invisible dividing line], and stare out the window for the next 45 minutes [gave up reading books in the morning, brain's only fit for the Sun at that time.... and ogling only occurs on the way home].

Today, a woman got on at Southend East, plonked her arse down next to me, dug her elbows in my side [some people just don't get the dividing line rule], and then spent the next 20 minutes fidgeting, putting her make up, elbowing me again, checking her blackberry, putting hand cream on, checking herself in the mirror, wiping her make up off, reapplying, elbowing me, dusting herself with powder [covering me with it too].... and so on! It's IMPOSSIBLE to relax when you've got that going on next to you!!!

And THEN, I noticed the SNIFFING!!!!!

Every 10 seconds, sniff, sniff.... I swear it was getting louder too.... after about 10 minutes, I dug in my bag, waved a tissue in front of her face and said "do you want a tissue?" with as much sympathy as I could muster through clenched teeth! "no, it's alright, thank you, I've got some".... "WELL FEKKING USE THEM THEN"... I said that last bit in my head.. out loud I just said "oh okay".... Still, at least she got the hint...yuk!

Then on the way home... some radgies got on the train, blaring out their ultra cool music from their mobies... and I use the term "ultra cool" very loosely! And that was nearly as irritating as the old bid trying to speak to her grandchild AT THE TOP OF HER VOICE on her mobile phone!

All of which meant that I did not get to doze!!!!!!

Lola Houdini

My computer is in my spare room, which is also where Lola and Reggie live! Usually I can hear them scratching about while I 'm tapping away, which makes me smile.... and if they're running around the floor at the weekend, they occasionally walk over my feet or try nibbling my toes (not so great).

Today, as the temperature had dropped, they were still in their pens. Suddenly it went a bit quiet, and I looked over, to see the top half of Lola poking over the top of her pen, looking somewhat like a Chad, balancing her front paws on the top of the pen, with a really cute "hey mum, look what I can do" expression on her face!!! I was so proud of her, for about 10 seconds, and now I just think "shit".... I'm going to have to get her a pen with taller walls now, so that she doesn't do a 3 foot divebomb to the floor!

aaaaargh, who would have thought that tortoises could be such little buggers!

uswitch.com

At the beginning of last year, I got fed up with British Gas sending me letters telling me it's going to put my prices up, so I looked on www.uswitch.com, and realised I could be paying less a month to other service providers. I ended up switching both gas and electric to Atlantic (which worked out about £12 a month cheaper), and I've been happy with the service they have provided (plus they don't do any cold calling, either).

Imagine my surprise today to receive a letter telling me that because I had been loyal to Atlantic for the last year, and paid by monthly direct debit, they have credited my bank account with £40 as a "thank you"! So not only have I saved £144 for the year, but also got a "reward" too!

So take note Virgin and Vodafone, rewarding loyalty is the way forward!

Sleep

I got a whole seven hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, which is the first time in months!!!

So how come I feel more tired now, than I did before I went to sleep?

Routine...

Crying Girl completely ruined my journey home today, by starting her hissy fit down her mobile phone a whole TWO stops early!!!

That's probably thrown me for the rest of the day now - Bah!

just plain weird!!!!

Following on from the irrational hatred of certain individuals comments, I realise I have also have irrational hatred of the following two things... and these are just plain weird!

Bruised fruit - especially bananas - If I see someone eating a banana with brown or black bits on it, I start wretching. Don't know why, it just really makes me gag.

When people start writing with a biro, but the nibs not out - aaaaaargh, forget nails on blackboards... this makes my toes curl, and my mouth go all dry... again, don't know why!

Gawd, it's made me go all weird just thinking about those things....

Catch up

Ahhhh, Heroes didn't let me down... and it was so nice to see all of my friends, I've missed them so much!

I've realised that Lola is "playing" me bigtime, as it's now the 3rd time in less than a week that she's tipped herself upside down... I swear she waits til I'm right outside the door, flips herself onto her back, and then pretends that she's been there ages! All cos she know's she's going to get picked up and given a cuddle!!! Little tyke!

Managed to catch up on a load of podcasts today... I LURVE the Russell Brand one, it's sooooo funny! The Scott Mills' ones are also very funny... he was talking about irrational hatred in one of them, as one of his friends refused to go and see a film just because it had Sandra Bullock in it. He can't pinpoint exactly what it is about her, he just can't stand her. Then one of his listeners phoned in to say he has an irrational hatred of Cat Deeley - apparently its because she does a weird thing with her mouth at the end of each sentence... I know what he means about her, sometimes she kind of sticks her tongue out when she smiles, which is really unnerving and irritating! And some might say that I have an irrational hatred of Michael Schumacher.... personally, I don't feel this is irrational though... so fess up all, who've you got an irrational hatred of?

The Millenium Bridge saga was apparently a "potential jumper" - awwww, I feel sorry for anyone who feels so bad that they want to kill themselves, but for fekks sake, if you're seriously gonna do it, don't go to a public place, and waste police resources! Blimey, ain't I unsympathetic?

Morning TV

Forget the dislike of GMTV, Mrs Robbo.... there's nothing worse than seeing Michael Schumacher on Sky News first thing in the morning!!!!

Now I know it's going to be a bad day!

Millenium Bridge

Heyyyyyy, in all my Heroes excitement, I totally forgot to say...

Weird happenings on Millenium Bridge today.... the police sealed it off at lunch time. Then more policemen and police boats kept turning up...

By the time I was walking home over Southwark Bridge, there were about 20 policemen leaning over the sides of the bridge in clusters, and 3 police boats anchored below in a sort of circular fashion!

If anyone knows what the hell was going on, please do tell!

Ogling: update

There was no-one to ogle at today! Note to self: buy chewing gum tomorrow.

Sun reader, and proud.... so there!

Weeeeell, where do I start???

1st piece of good news => I stepped over 3 piles of sick today (which is a new record for the Monday-morning-walk-to-the-station), and I didn't wretch once!!!!

Sat in my favourite seat on the train this morning [hardly a surprise, as I'm usually the first one on], and settled down to read my beloved Sun newspaper. Yes, I know, I know, The Sun.... don't think I can't hear all you intellects gasp in outrage & disgust, but I lurve it, in all it's working class glory! Anyway, moving on...

2nd piece of good news => the lovely David James got a clean sheet, so no more facial fuzz! Can't wait to see the new "look", let's hope it's better than some of his previous dodgy barnets!

3rd piece of good news => I was so engrossed in my work today, that the working day only seemed about 3 hours long! Dontcha just love days like that???

4th piece of good news => I've got home to find that Derren Brown, THE Derren Brown, is now one of my MySpace buddies... how cool is that? I'm a bit surprised at the photo he's got on his profile, though - his forehead looks really big, like those men in the old Tefal adverts. I don't know why he didn't use a promo shot from his Channel 4 series.... I would have done personally, but maybe he felt that they'd airbrushed him too much in those, and so he wanted to appear more "natural".

5th piece of good news => The welcome return of Heroes tonight - I am SOOOOO excited about this - it's been a long period of separation for me and my superpowered buddies! Bad news, is that it will be far too late for me to watch, so I'm going to have to watch it tomorrow night. Nay mind, I may just treat myself, and go and watch the last episode again, just as a little reminder of why I love them so much!!!! Save the cheerleader....!

Identity Theft on MySpace

I now have two (yes, two) MySpace friends called Joss Whedon, who look remarkably similar to each other, I might add. Who'd have thought that two random people, sharing the same name, could look so alike?!!? One's obviously quite shy, as he seems to be hiding behind a black curtain or something - I think he's the older of the two, as the other Joss looks a lot younger... Interestingly enough, they both have similar tastes too!

I was very disappointed to find out that it wasn't the real Louis Theroux, who'd asked to be my friend [I'm still reeling from the shock of discovering it wasn't really Michael Barrymore !] When I read the name tag "Louis Theroux Appreciationists", I just thought Louis had some obscure American qualification that he likes to annotate after his name! It didn't even occur to me that Louis might have been the victim of Identity Theft! What is this world coming to?!? Next I'll be finding out that it's not really the Dalai Lama, either.... although I am sure it is him, as he is in exile in India, and would probably need to use the internet to communicate with the folks back home. And what better way to stay in touch with friends than MySpace? Although thinking about it, I wonder if he knows about Friends Reunited... I'll drop him a line in a minute, just in case he doesn't know about that one.

I've asked Derren Brown to be my friend too - I'm just waiting for his response... I'm a bit worried that he might have used his superpower (mind control) over the 'net, as I felt oddly drawn to him... [Mrs M, I think he's another Shouldn't but do!]

Oh, and talking of superpowers, Heroes is back on tomorrow!!!!! Woo Hoo!

Ogling

Ok, so the Oldboy gossip from yesterday might be totally out the window now... seeing as it's been linked to that Korean loony in Virginia, and all that... and I promise the film isn't as bad as they're making out in the tabloids.....

Talking of which, I saw a very interesting article in The Metro today, about commuting. It was entitled "Ogling helps you ride out rush-hour hell."

I quote, "But it seems finding an attractive passenger to ogle is one of the best ways to survive. Or, failing that, try chewing gum..."

I'm not really that keen on chewing gum, so looks like I going to have to ogle... oh, that's going to be soooooo hard.....

aaaaaaaaaargh!

Next door's burglar alarm has been blaring for the last 20 minutes!!! Very annoying, but couldn't be helped... a bulb blew in the bathroom, and it short fused their house.... blah blah blah... feel VERY sorry for them, but needless to say, cannot sleep/ cannot read/ cannot think due to the noise, so thought I'd just ramble on for a bit to distract myself from the high pitched squealing noise! Never mind the bees, Mrs M, there's going to be a helluva lot of confused dolphins in the Thames estuary tonight!!!

er, what can I talk about.... er, erm, er - oooooo got my DivX player (ta to the Robbo's for that tip!) so I'm all ready for Heroes, which is starting up again on Monday -'bout bleeding time!!!

er, what else???

Oh yea, following on from me talking about how clumsy I am, was having a bath yesterday, and noticed I seemed to be growing my own pair of moon boots, so thought I'd better shave - ouch! didn't want to be cutting myself like that!!!

yikes, this noise is driving me CRAAAAAAAZY!!!

Blimey, nearly forgot... am still waiting for Park Chan Wook to accept me as a friend on MySpace... but read an interesting (only to me, and no-one else) article that said one of the Vengeance Trilogy films (Oldboy) is going to be re-made in Hollywood, and apparently Park wants Sean Penn as the lead... good choice, but Ed Norton would be great in that role too.....

I wish I had ear plugs... cotton wool might have to do, though!

Does anyone know if David James has got a "clean sheet" and shaved off that facial fluff yet?

Hope the tortoises don't wake up....

Must remember it's bin day tomorrow.... might go and sort them out now, before I forget.....

mySpace

Just when I was going to blog about how I was already bored of mySpace, Louis Theroux just said YES!!!!!!!

I am really trying to suppress those stalker instincts of mine now.....

Non-stick pans...

I am sooooo jealous of Mrs Robbo's Le Creseut collection, but I know it's not worth me getting any, as I am a completely clumsy cow! Within a week I would have managed to drop/ smash/ break/ chip the item, regardless of how roofie-proof it was... bear in mind that I have written-off a Volvo! I always end up getting cheap baking trays, as no matter what price they are, they never last longer than 6 months!

The other day (when I was REALLY tired), I accidentally cremated some vegetables - oops, I wasn't concentrating, and put the wrong setting on the oven! After a whole minute of trying to scrape/ soak the dead veg off the baking tray, I gave up and threw it in the bin, cos I was too tired and too lazy to deal with it!

Tonight, I used my "reserve" baking tray, and although it's non-stick, I still put a little bit of oil on it, followed the instructions on the food packaging, and the whole fekking thing STILL glued itself to the tray!

It took me 10 minutes of scrubbing in BOILING hot water (my poor ickle hands) to clean the sodding thing! It might be pikey, but I'm going back to putting tin foils on the trays first!!!

Sleeping and commuting

After my great night's sleep Saturday, I ended up with a rubbish night's sleep on Sunday... to the point where I was having trouble dragging myself out of bed... as soon as I got onto the train I fell asleep, only to be woken at the very next station by two people having an argument about "pushing in," as they got onto the train - wtf? There were only 3 people in our carriage, so it wasn't like they weren't going to get a seat!!! Still, fell straight back to sleep again, and didn't wake up til Fenchurch Street. Luckily I hadn't dribbled....

I spent the whole day fighting to keep my eyes open, and even resorted to drinking Coke Light, which is all I could get in the local shops, and it tastes foul.... reminds me a bit of India, as you couldn't get Diet Coke there either! The caffeine didn't do the trick though, so it wasn't a particularly productive day!

The journey home was even worse, as it was hot, and the air conditioning wasn't on... about 5 minutes into the journey, I reckon EVERYONE was asleep. I only woke up when my phone rang, and I was so pathetically zombified I could barely hold a conversation (sorry Alan).

Then when I actually got into bed that night, I couldn't sleep for aaaaages! How annoying, and typical, is that!?!?!

Today the air conditioning was on, but my sleep was interrupted by foreign crying girl (I wish I knew what language she was speaking) who was having her monthly argument on her mobile at the top of her voice! Actually, I feel a bit bad about saying it's a "monthly" argument - I wasn't referring to her hormones, I just meant that she has an argument with someone at least once every month!!! If you know what I mean... er, maybe I'll just shut my hypocritical trap up now!

Lazy days

Well, I managed to have a really good night's sleep, for a change, which may have been down to the very large takeaway last night!!

Today has been a very relaxing day, which loosely translates as 'I couldn't be arsed to do anything!'

Lola and Reggie went to visit their grandparents today - mainly as they needed a manicure/ pedicure, and I'm too much of a wuss to try and do this on my own! And it's official... my tortoises are naughty little beggars! In fact, my dad commented that they were "worse than hyperactive children" - which may be a diss on my parenting skills.....

I didn't think they were overly naughty - they just happened to climb in the water feature, walk all over their newly planted flowers, try to dig up their patio, and scare their dog!!!! Oh, and Lola stole some of my mum's banana too! Ooops! Anyway, they managed to get their claws clipped with no sign of blood - so yay to me! And now they've finally gone to sleep.... ah bliss!

Mystery cat appeared in my kitchen again....!!! So cat deterrent tips welcome!

Tips for tortoise owners, part one

Do not let them walk on a floor which you are trying to sweep - they find it HIGHLY amusing to charge through the little pile of dust etc before you can scoop it into the dustpan! I, however, did not find this funny! Watch out for the return of the Dyson!

Updates....

oh YUK! My sliced finger is not healing in the way that Claire Bennet's would (cheerleader in Heroes, dum-dum)..... there is pus, gross!

ooooooooooo MySpace update.... well, how shocked was I when I got approached by none other than Michael Barrymore, asking if he can be my friend?!?!? It's quite a realistic profile, so first thing this morning, half-asleep, I really started to think along the lines of, "oh gawd, he's trying to drum up support for his BIG comeback", but now I am awake, and have actually taken the time to read the small print, I am not so convinced... ok he may have friends on his profile like Les Dennis and Tarby, but do we really think the real MB would talk about wanting to invite Jonathan Ross for a swim, and wondering if he'd let him shit in his mouth???

Shocking news is that Joss Whedon didn't serve me with cyber-papers, and he's now my friend!
*thud*

lucky me....

So far today I have:
- stubbed my right toe 3 times (when it was cold, and I was barefoot)
- dodged a cup falling out of a cupboard, that seemed set on smashing on my head
- cut my finger open at work (yuk - blood everywhere)
- chipped a bowl
- spilt a full glass of squash
- bashed my shin
- dropped the same piece of cutlery 3 times, straight after each other!
- burnt my vegetables
- dropped the remote control on my left foot
- trod on a peg (the same one I found in my pillow case last night, and threw on the bedroom floor in disgust)

The air conditioning is now completely broken at work (and we're STILL not allowed the windows open), and it won't be fixed for 2 more weeks!

Men won't want to read this one!

As I've got older, I've become more keen on doing my bit for the environment... recycling/ using eco-friendly products - doesn't always happen, but I do my best!!!

Anyway, there I was in Waitrose the other week (only because it was a Sunday, and Asda's had already shut for the day), and I came across an eco-friendly section. I don't know what came over me, but when I got home I realised that I had purchased some eco-friendly-chlorine-free-bio-degradable feminine towels!!!! Although I still haven't come on, I'm in the "code red" zone, so I like to be prepared, especially as it can take me up to 2 hours to get to work!!! Talk about bio-degradable - I think they started to disintegrate from the moment I opened the wrapper!!! It was practically DUST when I got into work!

So, from me, to you, DON'T BUY THEM!!!!!

p.s. PaulaBxx, you would have been so proud of me, I didn't start a new bottle of shampoo, until I'd finished (completely) the old one!!!

My Space

I've finally got a MySpace profile!!! I kinda agree with Mrs Robbo, in that there's quite an emphasis on the amount of friends you've got on your profile (will you sign my yearbook?), but I have finally been seduced to the dark side....

Being a very shy person (yes, really!), its always been a bit difficult making new friends, so this clicking on a photo lark is VERY appealing to me... no small talk or anything! Only problem is, when it's 3 in the morning, and you can't sleep, this "clicking" becomes an obssession!!!! After searching almost everyone I know, I then started celeb stalking..... BTW Mrs Miggins, how come you've not signed on since 2005??

Anyway, I am beginning to panic now that I may have several injunctions served on me, especially from Joss Whedon (WHATTA MAN) who had more than one profile - I may have clicked on all of them....

Now I fear cyber-rejection... I should have stuck to counting sheep! And bugger, now I've got to get ready for work!

Weird dreams

I've had the weirdest dream earlier on.... and for the last 2 hours I've been trying to get back to sleep, but think I may be going through one of my insomnia phases!!!

Weird dream background = Lola has been very clingy recently, and every time I come into the room, she runs to the side of the pen, and tries climbing out until I pick her up. Once she's had a little cuddle, she'll happily go back into her pen, and go to sleep!

Weird dream = Lola decided that she wanted a permanent cuddle, so while I was asleep, she climbed out of her pen, came into my bedroom, climbed up the duvet, and gouged my eye out (interestingly enough, this wasn't a nightmare!). She then took up permanent residency in my eye socket, and I had to spend the rest of my days with a tortoiseshell-eyepatch - eat your heart out Gabrielle! How very American Psycho!

NB - this is probably related to the "peg" incident

I am useless!

Just got into bed, flopped on the pillow, as you do... and then nearly poked my eye out!!!!

Only gone and bleeding left a peg in the pillow case!!! Its okay though, I have checked in the mirror, and there's no blood gushing out of my eye!

More importantly, I can still blog, so I am not a completely useless twat!

To prove a point....

These aren't the best quality photos, as they were done on a rubbishy mobile phone...
1 - this is Lola on the day the stork brought her to my doorstep! She was only 2 weeks old. How cute that she could fit in a matchbox, eh?



2 - This is Reggie - he was 2 months old when he turned up (and no, that's not an ultra-big hand!



3 - This is Lola meeting her new buddy Reggie - check out the size difference then! He's bigger than her now!

Blimey, there's no holding me back now!!!!!

My lickle babies..

Well, finally, to appease Cuttsy, who thinks my blog is way toooooo pink now, here's a photo to distract from the campness!

The stars of the show, Lola and Reggie, sharing dinner! Lola will be 2 this year, and Reggie will be 1!

They really are smaller than a lettuce leaf!

Size 0 tortoises

Good news, my tortoises do not have anorexia, or any other eating disorder. www.thetortoiseshop.com have told me to take no notice of the Jackson Ratio - as long as my babies are eating, there's nothing to worry about, so one big PHEWWWWWWW! Except I've now got about £40 worth of plants, which I panic-bought yesterday!!!! But ahhhh, Lola's just woken up and come over to say hello - how can I begrudge her anything?!?!?

It was soooooo hard dragging my fat arse into work today.... that walk from Fenchurch Street is a killer when you haven't got off your butt for 4 days! I'm going to have to get the Radox Muscle Soak out later... Btw, commuting is a shitter when it's holidays - there's always ten times more schoolkids on the trains during the holidays - how does that work?

Our air conditioning in the new office has been pretty grim since we moved there, but we arrived today to find it wasn't working at all! We're constantly having rows with the premises staff about the windows, which are meant to be locked so the air con works, and no-one falls out. We figured that if the air con wasn't working anyway, then what did it matter if the windows were opened? Needless to say, we lost the argument on the whole Health & Safety issue - incidentally, surely Health & Safety comes into the equation when our offices are measuring 34degrees Celsius (sorry, I don't really do Farenheit)? It was cooler when I was working in offices in India - oh, except when there were power cuts, of course!!!

I might complain, on the grounds that its in violation of my human rights!!!

Pimp my blog

Having "pimped my blog" (thanks to the Robbo's for that phrase), I decided it was about time I added some photos! As I didn't really want to scare people away, I thought I'd use photos of my tortoises, rather than me!

While I was sorting through some piccies, I started to worry that I'd look a complete twat if some bright spark then pointed out that Reggie was a girl, and Lola was a boy! So I thought I'd better sex my tortoises (no rude remarks at that please!), and spent the next two hours trawling through webpages looking for ways to tell the difference - thank god it's easier in humans, eh?

Apparently, the male species have longer tails (again, no rude remarks) than the females. So poor Reggie and Lola were tipped onto their backs several times, much to their annoyance - I don't know what their problem was, I wouldn't be complaining, if I was so lucky!!! I couldn't actually work out what gender they were, which was really annoying... but then I found a webpage that confirmed you couldn't really tell until they were about 5yrs old - so got a few years to go yet!

But, you know how it is, you start one thing, get distracted etc.... on one of the webpages, there was a chart (similar to the BMI charts) for Hermman Tortoises, indicating if they were a healthy weight or not, taking their length and weight into consideration. I am now DEVASTATED! Apparently Lola is Dangerously Underweight... and Reggie is also underweight. Of course, I did the first thing that came into my head, and phoned my dad!!! Knowing that humour often alleviates stress, he made some joke about reporting me to the RSPCA! [shakes head in disbelief] At that point, the poor man got the FULL extent of my PMS: "oh don't say that [sniff, sniff ] you know I LOVE [gulp, sniff ] my babies, how c-c-c-c-could you [sob, sob] say that" oops! Sensibly, at this point, he chose not to say "are you due on?"

I then spent the next hour or so trawling round garden centres trying to find different "treats" that my babies would eat, and then trying to get them to eat them! I even ripped catcus leaves off for them, so they could scoop out the middle, while I tried getting all the needles out of my fingers with tweezers - apologies for any spelling mistakes, very tender fingers today! Lola seemed to like her prickly pear, but Reggie was more interested in the cuttle fish! At least he know's what he's meant to do with it! So now I've emailed The Tortoise Shop to see if they can give me some advice, as I am completely stressing that I am a shite mother! And to think I thought I was giving them too much food, as they always had food left over!!!

Finally, I went round to see my dad, armed with some Hot X Buns, as an apology - only to find he now has man-flu, and cannot swallow anything!!! [before you go there, that's my dad we're talking about!]

The Vengeance Trilogy

About a year ago, I dragged one of my work buddies to see Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. I can't remember why I wanted to see this film, as it's a 'foreign film' with English subtitles, which had never really appealed to me before! Within 5 minutes, I was totally hooked! It was beautifully made, although somewhat graphic in parts, and surprisingly, quite comical (in a dark way)! It was all about a woman who was imprisoned for 13 years for the kidnap and murder of a 6yr old boy, and whilst she is in prison she recruits inmates to help her seek revenge on the man who is really responsible for the murder/ kidnap of the boy.

My film buddy, who'd had quite a conservative upbringing as a white African, did not appreciate this film at all, and I think everyone in the cinema could sense his discomfort during the 2-3 sex scenes! To give you some idea of how awkward this was, I actually felt more comfortable watching puppets having sex in Team America, which I watched with my dad!!! When my film buddy stated "I can't believe you've brought me to a film which features 'rug munching'," in a Very Loud voice, I could have quite happily punched him!

Roll on to about 6-7 months ago, and I was talking to a different friend about films, and I lent him Lady V, as I thought he might like it... I was right, he loved it too. He lent me his favourite Korean film, Oldboy, which I also fell in love with. This film is about a man who is imprisoned for 15 years, and does not know why - he is then released and given 5 days to find his captor.

After geeking off on IMDB.com, the penny dropped that both films had been directed by Park Chan-Wook, and were both part of his Vengeance Trilogy. My brother and his wife got me this trilogy boxset for my birthday, and I've finally got round to watching the 3rd film, Sympathy for Mr Vengeance. Another great film, beautifully directed! This film is about a deaf mute who needs to raise money for a kidney transplant for his ill sister, as he is unable to donate his own. He gets sacked, and ends up kidnapping his wealthy ex-boss' young daughter, but things don't go according to plan...

I only know of 2 of my friends who'd be enthusiastic about watching these films, but I'd definitely recommend them to anyone who doesn't mind watching a subtitled film, with great storylines! Mr Vengeance and Lady Vengeance both scored 7.8 on IMDB, and Oldboy actually scored 8.3, which goes to show what great films they are!!!

Ladies, does this make your blood boil???

I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday, and I obviously made a point that he didn't seem to like, as the response was "you're not due on, are you?" Now, isn't this THE MOST annoying thing someone can say to you??? I responded very diplomatically with "I don't see how that has any relevance to the conversation we are having. I feel that you have merely introduced that into the equation to deflect from the truth contained within my words, to demonstrate how unfounded your previous point was". To those of you who know me well, you will realise that is not what I actually said, but for decency reasons, I am not able to publish the exact phrase I used.

The truth is, I am due on, but I didn't feel that I was behaving, or saying anything, differently to how I would have been any other time within the month! I find it totally outrageous, and unreasonable, for anyone to use menstrual cycles to discredit what you are saying. Obviously, if I had him in a headlock, giving him a few right uppercuts, then he may have had grounds to use PMS as an excuse for my behaviour! Although, in those circumstances, if he had, I would probably have rammed a packet of tampax down his throat!

Why do people feel that PMS is a deflection tool? And does this annoy anyone else?

How very embarrassing....

Yesterday, Lola managed to tip herself over, again. She managed to do this by trying to climb up the plastic covering on my portable massage couch, and falling off when she got halfway up! I didn't actually see her do this, but I could tell from the claw marks, which stopped abruptly, what had happened!

I don't really like keeping them in their pens when I'm in the house, so I tend to let them walk around on their bedroom floor. However, since this incident, I've been letting them wander around downstairs with me, so I can keep an eye on them - they have a bath everyday, so I know they're clean!

Anyway, they were very excited today, when they found out that auntie and uncle Robbo were coming to see them, and started racing each other around the couches, while waiting for them to turn up! After their cuddles, Gina and Steve put them back on the floor, and Reggie walked straight to the middle of the room and pissed! He has no shame! I was so embarrassed!

After cleaning it up, we geeked on the internet, and Robbo showed me a few new sites (thank youuuuuuuuuu)! I then decided to change the template on my blog, and found one I really liked, which was like this one, but blue! Gina jokingly said I might want to change the name of the site, as everyone would think Beaker was a boy! I realised she had a point, but as I couldn't change the background colour, I've had to settle for the pink version!!!! And that's sooooo not my colour! Anyway, I'll probably be back to the green dots by the end of next week!

Yippeeeeee! Holidays and hot cross buns!

I'm really looking forward to having 4 days off - no work and no commute, such bliss!

Went to lunch with my big bruv and his lovely wife today! We went to a really nice Greek restaurant near the Globe theatre... the food was gorgeous, but you'll have to take my word for it, because I can't spell it, or pronounce it, so therefore cannot tell you what I had! Oh, apart from the side portion of chips! Yum yum! They bought me The Venegeance Triology for my birthday - I've seen 2 of the films, which I LURVE, and the third one is the top of my holiday viewing pile!

When I got back to my desk, there was an email:

All,
It's the perfect day to do it, and once you have popped out at the bottom, a perfect opportunity to have a drink and tell everyone about how brave you've been and that you were not scared!

What is he on about now , I hear you say??!

Next Friday a few of us plan to ride the slides in the Tate Modern afterwork. For all you wimps, there is a nice steady slide from level 2, but for all the heroes or insane people in the office, why not try the slides from levels 3, 4 & 5! Sliding mats are provided, so no rushing off to the market this weekend to buy any old mat! Tickets to ride the slides between 6pm & 9.30pm will be released from 6o'clock on the day. Tickets are released on a first come first served basis, and are not available in advance. Tickets are free............as is entry into the Tate Modern. Unfortunately, riders under the influence of drugs, or alcohol, are not permitted to use the slides, so maybe the majority of us can look at the paintings instead!!

Remember it is Friday the 13th, so anything can happen..........................................

You'll have to check out the Tate Modern site "Unilever Series - Carsten Holler," to see what it's about, but needless to say, the higher one's are something I'd only do if I was smashed!!!

FREAKED out when I got in from work. My dad had picked me up from the station, and he'd popped in for a quick chat. As we were talking, I saw movement by his legs, and for a split second thought I'd seen my little dog Polly (she died last year)! I nearly SHAT myself! Then I realised it was next doors cat, who had exactly the same colouring, and fur/ hair etc. It's one of those really weird cats that looks like they've been hit in the face with a frying pan! So I shoo-ed the thing out (I'm not much of a cat lover - see previous blogs about catshit in gardens). Then, when dad left, I closed the door behind him, turned round, and the little fekker of an ugly cat was sitting on my stairs! In the end, I picked it up, and marched it next door, trying my best to give the little shitter back, with a smile on my face.... I thought I reacted remarkably well, seeing as I'm quite hormonal... under the circumstances, he was lucky he didn't get booted out the door, like Fred Flinstone's dinosaur!!!

Southwark

Recently, I've been taking the time to get my bearings in Southwark! Although the journey is a killer, its such a lovely area to work in... and to top it all off, we've found a really great cafe that does cups of tea for 60p, which is great compared to the £6.35 that Starbucks charge (that's only a small exaggeration)!

I'm really rubbish at directions, and I managed to get lost around Borough Market the other day... but I did find the pub that Bridget Jones lived above in the films! And I've also appeared in about 6 million tourists photos as I've walked past the Golden Hind, Prison Museum and across the bridges... might be able to star in one of those "Where's Wally?" books soon!

It seems a really popular place to film - The Jack Osbourne Show was filming on the Millenium Bridge at the beginning of the week! And apparently Dr Who is going to be at the Globe Theatre, next week, but about 400 years ago, so I won't get to see him .... phew, don't want DT trying that "genetic transfer" line on me!

Do these things happen to anyone else?

I just answered my home phone to someone wanking and asking me to talk dirty!

Well, I suppose if I were to look on the bright side, at least I understood what he was saying, which is a bit of a novelty with "cold callers" these days!

Zombie girl!

Had a busy last couple of days... spent Friday evening with Paula and Little G (getting cuter, and cheekier, by the day), which was lovely.

Despite hating shopping, I decided to go into Sah-fend yesterday. To make matters worse, my mum invited herself too. She did well though, and was on her best behaviour, so we didn't row. Only problem was, she decided she wanted to buy some new perfume... so one minute we're standing looking at the perfume counter in Debenhams, next minute, some VERY helpful assistant had cornered us, and started spraying us with different scents. This is not good, as you end up with a frikkin headache, and inevitably start talking just as they spray, so feel like you're tasting it too - yuk! And this obviously effected my senses, as I found myself saying "wow, i really like Paris Hilton's Heiress fragrance." I don't know if I am shocked, or embarrassed, or both! We ended up with loads of samples of obscure scents, which will probably all find their way into the bin (when I can actually be arsed to finish my spring cleaning). Well, all except the Anna Sui purple Dolly Girl one, which I LURVE, and must get.

One of my work buddies came round yesterday afternoon, which was great, despite me having to cook..... I did ask why we couldn't have a takeaway, and the response was "cos I had one last night, do you mind?"... of course I fekkin minded (who cares if you have 2 takeaways in one week?), but I still cooked! We watched Saw II and Saw III... well, I think I had my eyes shut for quite a bit of it, not one for gore!

Then I was obviously still high from the perfume fumes, as I had the skankiest night's sleep, and now feel, and look, like something out of Shaun of the Dead!!! What a waste of a Sunday!