Jealousy...

Earlier this evening, as Lola had taken herself off to bed, I took Reggie downstairs so we could watch Eastenders together - ok, ok, I just like "popping" into the square every now and then, to find out what's been happening...don't have a go!

As it was a bit warmer this evening, the patio door was open... so it wasn't long before Stalker Cat wandered in. And considering how cute he was with Lola the other day, he certainly didn't like me having a cuddle with Reggie tonight! He tried swiping Reggie off my lap - little shyster! Which reminded me of his little jealous attack at the weekend, which I totally forgot to blog about!

GinaRobbo and SteveRobbo popped over to watch ADWD (not specifically, obviously) and brought TommyGreyhound with them. Unfortunately, Stalker Cat was already at the back door staring in, in his obssessive, stalky way. Now most cats would have the common sense to check out the size of Tommy, mistake his smile for a snarl, and leg it! However, S.C. is a bit stoopid, and a stand off ensued. I won't bore you with in-depth details, but S.C. basically looked at Tommy as though he wished evil upon him. If they'd been put in a ring together, my money would actually have been on the cat, based upon its jealous behaviour!

Anyway, Reggie's gone to bed, and Stalker Cat has probably gone round to see his other tart, who lives down the road!!!! Leaving me to clear up after both of them!!!!

I've found them.....

... or rather, they've found me!!!!

Looking at my Visitor Map, I've just noticed a big red dot in the middle of the ocean! Looks like Charlie may have managed to stop the "the others" jamming device after all!

Funny, I would've thought they would have tried getting rescued, rather than looking at my blog!

Square eyes

It's Wednesday, and I'm ALREADY looking forward to the weekend

Now that all my naff American TV series have finished, I've been wondering what I'm going to be watching until the new seasons start.... obviously I've already decided that I will be planning my diary around ADWD, and the BB8 shows... but I meant for the rest of the time (excluding parental duties, and taking in stray stalking cats)

However, one of my buddies has given me a whole load of Laurel & Hardy movies... so now methinks I will not be moving my lardy arse of the sofa this weekend!

Big dilemma tonight....

The Apprentice or Big Brother launch??

In contrast....

I've received my order from www.goodnessdirect.co.uk

I am SOOOOOOO impressed with this website. They use CityLink who are about a million times better than DHL, and delivered it at 9.10 this morning.

Everything was packaged REALLY, REALLY well, and considering I didn't get home til gone 5, all the frozen stuff was still frozen too!

I have special cows-milk-free food, and frozen sheeps milk - hurrah!

PLUS they gave me a free dark chocolate waffle as a "thank you" for shopping with them! Not that I am easily bought... but I am!

Update on DHL saga

Someone from the Managing Director's office (apparently) has responded to my complaint. A very nice lady phoned me up and said "sorry, we haven't handled this very well. We can only apologise and feed it back to the people concerned"

This wasn't very satisfying, and I didn't get an offer of compensation... therefore I have come to the conclusion that I will NEVER use DHL, unless there is no alternative. So there!

sorry for the delay....

Couldn't be bothered to cook dinner tonight, so had bowl of cereals.

There were 41 raisins in it - 41??? Don't you think that's an exceedingly high amount?

I thought it was only 40, but one had hidden itself in an oat cluster.... but I found it, and spat it out in a really attractive way!

Can anyone tell me what DHL stands for?

I probably shouldn't blog about this until I've calmed down... but has anyone else found DHL to be the biggest bunch of useless fekkers ever?

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered some goods online - I didn't realise who the "courier" company were, or else I NEVER would have ordered goods from them!

My heart sank when I saw the DHL card on my doormat last week, telling me that as I wasn't in to take receipt of the parcel, I could drive 30 miles to collect it from their depot - yea fek off to that, when I've already paid nearly £10 p&p charges!

So I phoned the Customer Services Centre [I've got no idea why they call it that, should be the "am I bovvered?" Centre], to try and rearrange delivery. As I wasn't going to be able to take delivery, they agreed to redirect the parcel to another address. I stressed about 5 times that they must deliver it on the Thursday, as it was the only day that someone would be there to take delivery. They assured me that wasn't going to be a problem, but as they couldn't specify whether it was going to be am or pm, I had to inconvenience someone for the whole day!

Guess what??? The parcel didn't arrive. When I phoned them up, I was told the "courier ran out of time" WTF???? Anyway, I ended up getting really worked up by the stroppy bitch on the end of the line, who's whole attitude was "yea? what do you want me to do about it?" I won't go into a full transcript of the call, but to summarise, she didn't listen to a word I said, and it frustrated the hell out of me!

I ended up firing an email complaint to them, detailing every aspect of this situation. I was most shocked to receive a response that evening, asking me for the parcel number, so they could investigate this on my behalf. Blimey, someone at DHL who actually cares, thought I! So I gave the tracking number, and waited patiently for their response. This is it:

Unfortunately, this parcel is be3ing returned to your supplier due to an inadequate address.

Please contact your supplier for any further assistance.

Apologies for any inconvenience

Thank you for contacting DHL and assuring you of our close co-operation at all times.

Kind regards,
Customer Retention Team

If anyone can explain what be3ing is, please tell me. And what's with all the "close co-operation" - total rubbish!

I am fuming!

Wow

Thank god for this new website, or else I'd never have known Simon Webbe was playing at the Cliffs Pavilion on 2nd June!

Advance Warning...!

Readers,

Mr Robbo has discovered a new web directory called UK Plus. When it's fully operational, you'll be able to "find your town", and get local information. At the moment, the only town listed for Essex is sunny Southend.

Mr Robbo decided to check out the "blogs" option - turns out that it's only his, Mrs Robbo's and mine that are listed! Eeeek, we're famous! Therefore, we may begin to charge for the privilege of reading our blogs.

I will probably have to start saving funds anyway, in case I get sued over the content of my blog - I don't think my neighbours realise I've been pimping Stalker Cat on my blog yet! Ooops!

Anyway, best I start editing my entries, so they all end with "allegedly"!!!!

Lets clear this up now!

Some photos for all those of you who believe Stalker Cat when he says he doesn't invite himself in!







Hands up who thinks he's just lost the argument (and his dignity)?

Predictions

Ok Cuttsy, you may have been right *said through gritted teeth*

Looking at the photo's below, Stalker Cat is looking FAR TOO SETTLED!

Better get myself a cardboard box tomorrow!

Ooops - forgot to mention

...how we played in the sand pit too!

Ah.. nice family day today

Firstly, Lola got out of her bath, and tried to climb in Reggie's! Reggie got the hump and went back to bed



Then Stalker Cat invited himself in, to take shelter from the rain, and was annoyed that he wasn't allowed in Reggie & Lola's room. He lay on the on the landing sulking. Lola was bored, cos her partner in crime was asleep, so went on a "recon" trip to find out how she could get through her barricade.

Eventually, EVERYONE was tired, so had a little siesta!

p.s. I am not trying to strangle Stalker Cat

Oh gawd....

.....I know I promised to tell you how many pieces of dried fruit I found in my breakfast today, but I totally forgot, and had vegemite on toast!

I hope none of you had a sleepless night worrying about this.

I feel I've let you down!

Sorry!

Observation...

Has anyone else noticed that cereals seem to have a lot more dried fruit in them, these days?

What's all that about? Dried currants and raisins are the WORST ingredient in breakfast cereals! They're okay if you eat them in Hot Cross Buns, in cakes, or on their own, but they take on the most disgusting texture/ taste in cereals! It gives you jaw ache!

I will try and remember to count them tomorrow! Because I am sad, and have no life!

Yet again, I salute....

... the prime time "gay" television that is Any Dream Will Do

I am still totally bemused by how obssessed I have become with this programme! It's just soooooo camp, soooooo showbiz and soooooo addictive!

The stress of the show must be getting to Graham Norton, as he had suitcases under his eyes, but he managed to hold the show together, with his little witty retorts.

Lord Lloyd Webber was responsible for the most surreal tv moment of the week, when he cracked a joke that no-one got, and then he had to explain it... and it really WASN'T funny anyway!!!!

Captain Jack was looking fabulous, and talking complete sense, as per usual. My opinion of Denise Van Outen has gone TOTALLY downhill! I used to think she was great on the Big Breakfast [not in the Mrs Robbo's Gay Crushes category], but she just seems to have got a bit lost up her own arse these days. Next week I'm going to count the amount of times she talks about how difficult, and how different, it is "when you're singing in 8 shows a week in the West End" - get over if, love!!!! Mind you, it doesn't help that every time I see her now, I just think "eurgh, you went out with Gary Glitter!" Not sure who the other 2 panelists are, so we'll gloss over them!

The Josephs [snigger - sorry Mrs R, but I just keep thinking of you taking the piss out of them getting called that] had to climb up a pole, sing at the top of it, then jump & grab some trapeze-swing-like-thing. Lewis [who I really detest] did the most girlie squeal EVER when it was his turn!!! I nearly peed myself!

Then some really [apparently] famous singer had to chose one of the 'Josephs' to sing live with him on the 2nd part of the show - he chose Lee (my fave)! Oh, and how jealous did the other Josephs look? It made me laugh out loud! And their faces when they heard they were going to be BACKING SINGERS for the big number! What a hoot! And they even had to do that really naff backing singer shuffle-&-sway-while-clicking-fingers dance that Terence Trent D'erby's backing singers did! Lee was MUCH better than Josh whatsisname!

Anyway, the blonde one (that looks a bit like Linda Lusardi's husband) had to give back his coat this week, which leaves girlie Lewis as the only blonde one left now!

I can't wait for next week's show!

The waiting game

I may have briefly mentioned, in passing, that I lived in India for a while. Unfortunately, I had one too many bouts of dysentry while I was out there, and have had gut problems ever since... its okay, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, except to say that I've now got a ton of foods I've developed intolerances to! The main one being Cows Milk (and byproducts of). This is a right pain in the arse (literally), because I'm a veggie, and EVERYTHING veggie seems to have cheese or milk in it! And if it hasn't got cheese in it, it's invariably got barley in it (another thing I can't have)!

I dread going to restaurants, because I've either got to eat "off the menu" [which I never want to do as I've heard too many urban myths/ legends/ stories about what kitchen staff do if you piss them off], or take 'pot luck' and suffer the consequences! Plus the fact, it can make your dinner companions feel a bit uncomfortable, while you're reeling off a list of ingredients the chef can't use! Needless to say, I try and avoid eating out where possible.

I also get really nervous about eating food that other people have cooked [except for Mrs Robbo who is really clued up with the whole 'cooking for people with allergies' nightmare]. Initially, my mum just couldn't get it, and would proudly tell me how she hadn't used wheat [which I haven't got an intolerance to!] or cheese in my dinner, but then tell me that she'd used butter, to make it taste nicer! [In fairness, as I don't often eat round there, she's never really had many chances to 'practise' cooking for me - but these days she's a lot better, and always makes me 'special' bread, which is yummy!] And let's not forget one of my dear buddies, who always offers me pizza when I visit ;o)

Anyway, much as I try and pretend that Soya Milk is okay, it's pretty disgusting really. You can just about tolerate it on cereals, but don't even think about drinking it on it's own... and try not to gag when it curdles if you're stupid enough to put it in tea or coffee!

A few months ago, I tried some goats butter and goats cheese. I seem to be okay with the goats butter (in very small quantities), but the goats cheese is a bit hit and miss!

After reading somewhere that people with cows milk intolerances are often okay with sheeps milk, I managed to track down a shop in Wickford that sells it... The Robbos kindly popped in there for me yesterday, and picked some up. So, this morning, I had the most GORGEOUS bowl of non-barley cereal with sheeps milk.... disgustingly full fat, but LURVELY.

And now I'm waiting to see what reaction I have! It's been about 8 hours, and so far so good!

Obviously this 'waiting' was no excuse for me still being in my jimjams at lunchtime - that was pure laziness! Oh, and Cuttsy's something to do on a rainy sunday

Ooooo maybe Jericho not RIP after all!

Apparently I wasn't the only one that liked Jericho.... no-one does campaigns like the Americans!

don't you just hate it....

I was in a bit of a bad mood yesterday, following a bit of an ongoing saga with DHL - I'll fill you in when I've calmed down about that! Anyway, I was offered tickets to see the wonderful Jason Donovan in concert, which I stupidly turned down. Thinking about it, I can't even come up with one valid reason why I turned this down, let alone 10 good reasons (boom, boom).

A friend has just posted a MySpace comment telling me that not only did I miss a really great concert, but this concert actually included Jason doing a duet with the "main man" Chesney Hawkes to "I am the one and only" - so a big cyber slap to my buddy for rubbing it in!

It's times like these when I wish I had Hiro Nakamura's superpower!!!! Or Peter Petrelli's... have I mentioned recently how much I love Peter????

do as I say, not as I do!!!

I think my mum has been a great subscriber to this philosophy over the years, and I have witnessed two things today that have backed my theory up!

Firstly - for several weeks, me mam (she's Scouse) has been telling me to ignore Stalker Cat, as I "don't want to let him into the house," as I'll "never get rid of him". This morning, while she was 'inspecting' my garden, Stalker Cat leapt over the fence and went running up to her. After his initial surprise that it wasn't me, he spent about 5 minutes wrapping his tail around her, and weaving in & out of her legs [see what I mean about him being typical male - what a flirt!] I left them to it, while I went upstairs to feed my babies. When I came back down, I found my mum crouched in my living room saying "who's a wuv-ly boy, den?" while pouring a ton of affection onto S.C. who was lapping her attention up! She then calls me "cruel" for marching him back outside, and then instructed me to go and get some wet cotton wool so I can "wash his face"!!!! Like a fool, I went and got a makeshift flannel, and started wiping his face, only to be told that I'm "doing it wrong," and I should "give it here, I'll do it".... so much for ignoring him then!

Secondly - after banging on about needing to go to Morleys Garden Centre, she talks me into driving her there. So, I end up having to load about 4 big sacks of compost into my lickle Micra [which suddenly seemed to get VERY low to the ground] along with some plants, pots and seeds! Back at my parents house, I unload the stuff, and dad comes out to help me. Once its all done, dad turns to me and says "why do you need compost?" "I don't," I replied. "oh, it's just that when your mum just came in, she said that you made her go to Morleys, as you wanted to buy compost!" I turned round to see my mum having the grace to look a bit embarrassed! My mum, who always brought me up with the saying "honesty really is the best policy!"

Blimey!

Lovely day

Had another day off today - long story behind why, so won't bore you with that... but it involves decorating yawn yawn yawn. Anyway, those arrangements were postponed, so I had the choice of still taking the day off, or working. And guess what??? I chose not to work!

Instead, I went to Blackheath and caught-up with one of my good buddies that I haven't seen for a while, so it was a lovely worthwhile day. Weather was fantastic.... was baking by the time I got to the Heath, then bleeding typical, as soon as I get out of the car, exposing my raw-fish-coloured legs, the bleeding sun goes behind a cloud! Which is probably a good thing, as the sun reflecting off my legs might have had the same look as Ross' teeth when he had them whitened in Friends!

Of course, as soon as I got back in the car to drive home, the sun came out again! Which, I suppose, on the plus side, means tomorrow I will still be white, or should I say "have an English Rose complexion", rather than be as red as a lobster!

Got back home to find Reggie upside down - have absolutely no idea how he managed to do this. Of course, once I managed to get him re-hydrated etc, my first thought was "god, I'm going to have to give up work now, just in case this happens again!"

Dear Cuttsy

Yes I am still talking about Stalker Cat.....

I love him! There, I've said it now!

He may have cheated on me, and he may have his own family to go home at night to, but for the time he is with me, he makes me feel special. And I know he loves me too!

God, I need to get out more!

Humble Pie

So guess who was back at my doorstep tonight.... obviously got wind that I'm not happy with him!

Blimey, he's so persistant, trying to sit on my lap, and get in my house.... but I was strong! He didn't get further than the patio, or my knee!

That'll learn him!

Who does he think he is?

Well, moving on swiftly - to take my mind off the temporary loss of some very dear friends....

Stalker Cat!!!

It appears that he has been 2-timing me, with the family living down the road. Typical bloke, he comes round when he wants a bit of attention/ affection/ feeding, then as soon as he's had what he came round for, he's off sniffing around the next one. Then when he's bored/ got a bit of spare time/ feeling hungry, all of a sudden he's back....!

And it's bad enough that I'm like a mistress-equivalent (not in a sexual way, because that would be wrong) that's living next door to him, but fancy having another mistress down the same road - that's just plain stoo-pid! I know I joke about the amount of in-breeding in these parts, which makes it borderline Deliverance territory, but now you can understand the saying "many a true word said in jest."

Bah, I deserve better than this!!!!

A sad, sad day .... part 2

Oh my god! Heroes was everything I expected it to be....

I am happy and sad all at once...... Ahhhhh Hiro, Ahhhhh Peter, even a small awwwww to Nathan too.... and Mr Bennett had a first name!!!! It was worth watching just for that!

p.s. I'm reserving the right to go out and buy a huge bar of dairy free chocolate, just in case depression kicks in later!

A sad, sad day

Monday's are horrid! I always get really tired and grumpy on Mondays, and there's always some shyster on the train who has a really irritating ring tone which is annoyingly loud, and wakes me up. Outrageous!

Anyway, I won't bang on about commuting and sleeping (for a change), as today is a very, very sad day. Tonight will be the last episode of Heroes, Season 1.

Even the thought of next Saturday's Any Dream Will Do will not be able to console me.... I just hope I will not be as depressed as I was when Buffy died at the end of Season 5, as now I have my dairy intolerance, I will not be able to eat a tub of Hagan Daas and a slab of chocolate to get me through this tough time.

I love you *sniff* Peter Petrelli ....

[...but don't worry R & L, I don't love him as much as you two!]

I keep on forgetting....

..... to mention how I know that summer is around the corner!

It's because the ducks are back in Asda car park! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

They are soooooo cute, they just sit on the grass verge by the petrol station all day, and then as dusk falls, they waddle across the car park, and say hello to all the customers. They are so important that cars just stop & pile up to let them walk across the road (its the only time that no-one beeps their horn at the hold-up).

The customers coming out the store fall in love with them, and rush to open their shopping to throw them bits of food! Then, when they're full, they waddle off home to bed.

I love these quack quacks - they make me smile!

the techno guru

I've driven to 3 places this week where I've needed a route planner. For 2 of the journeys, I used Multimap and AA Planner.... for the Leicester trip, they were both pretty similar, but for the other place, they gave different "estimated times" and the AA Planner missed out a whole road! Apart from that, they were really useful!

On Friday, I was running a bit late, and didn't have time to check either website. I was picking up Mr Robbo on the way to Whoppy's Quiz Night, and hoped that he knew the way!

Well, blow me, Mr Robbo gets in the car, places this tiny box on the dashboard, and then starts fiddling with his mobile phone. Mr Robbo then starts talking about GPS address or locations, which completely confused me, and I think I just said "yes", even though he didn't actually ask me a question!

Turns out Mr Robbo is up to date with technology (where does he learn about these things?), and can get Sat Nav through his mobile phone!!!

What an impressive bit of kit - telling me how fast I was going, how many minutes to go..... I felt like I was in an episode of 24 (obviously minus the shootings, Jack Bauer, CTU and being involved in a terrorist plot that would result in the loss of hundreds and thousands of lives)!!!

Oh, and if you were interested, we came a respectable joint 3rd!

oh bugger...

... just realised I wasted my 100th blog entry on a cat that's not even mine!

Lola and Reggie are going to be well jealous. Ooooo I know, here's a photo of them...

Sorry babies, I love you more than that trespasser....!

The Stalker Cat Invasion

I may as well give up!!!

I didn't think I'd left a gap big enough for Stalker Cat to fit through! Turns out I was wrong!

This cat is obsessed with me!!

My own magic moment....

To those of you who know me, I want to share with you a magical moment that happened to me last night... of course, those who don't know me are welcome to carry on reading, and I really hope that you can appreciate how sincerely humbled I felt by this experience....

I may have previously mentioned my erratic sleeping patterns, ever since I returned from my residency in India [note: remind me to tell you about that period of my life at some point]. Many a night I have laid in bed awake, waiting for sleep to take hold of me, or daylight to break. It is at these times that I have been blessed with true clarity of thought, for which I am eternally grateful.

However, recently I have realised that something important has been missing from my life. During this troubling time, where has been this clarity of thought, to help me prepare for whatever life may bring to my door? I have felt like it has abandoned me, like it has spitefully thrown me to the wind. And I have struggled, believe me, it has been a struggle, to establish what this void has been...

Then...

Last night, I went to bed early, so I could do something I have not done in ages, to gorge myself on Saturday night TV, as a distraction from my turmoil.... It was while I was lying there, I suddenly heard the voices of angels singing, carrying me to the realisation that when I'd seen a red door, I had, indeed, wanted to paint it black, black as coal. And in that moment, which I can only describe as my own special epiphany, the realization of what had been absent from my life dawned upon me.... I had discovered Any Dream Will Do.

The anguish of those poor Joseph wannabes, as they sang their little hearts out to Captain Jack and his merry men, with a little leprechaun ready to help them follow a rainbow to a pot of gold, jovially comforting them through their turbulent journey of self-discovery. I'm sure any of you who have seen this, will agree what a truly beautiful, humbling experience it is to observe these young men woefully following their dreams.

As the credits rolled at the end of part one, I felt my heart racing as I patiently waited to find out who would have to hand their coat back. Mrs Robbo, I thank you for being there with me, for phoning me when I most needed someone to talk to, and supporting me through one of the longest hours of my life. You are a true friend.

The tears rolled as poor Daniel was cast aside by Sir Andrew. How cruel that they made him sing one last time, as he sadly took off his amazing technicolour dreamcoat....

And as I sit here, making my very own dreamcoat, as homage to the delightful campness of this experience, I would like to say, "Reality TV, welcome back into my life...."

bits & bobs

Didn't go to work today... I booked the day off! Not for any special reason, just fancied having a day off!

I did a load of things today that I've been putting off for aaaaaages! Like: clearing out some of the junk in my garage; getting estimates for a new carpet; sorting out a sand-pit for Lola and Reggie (they're soooo spoilt); potting up some seedlings.... blah blah blah!

I also popped into AUT for one of my buddies, who wanted some supercheap speakers. Very nice, very patient man behind the counter had to try and explain what all the "features" on each speaker meant in non-technical terms.... I can't remember how we got onto this subject, but it turns out he's a big Voyager fan, just like me (sad trekkies). Anyway, I ended up buying a pair of speakers because "if you were watching Voyager using these speakers, the Jefferson tubes and the doors would sound really amazing!" That's what I like, basic explanations - forget all this techie stuff!

Found out that Jericho is not being renewed for another season - which is totally outrageous! Granted it was a bit of a slow developer, but the season finale was great... I blubbered! Why do American channels do that??? Have a really good series, then drop it with so many things unanswered... I'm still waiting to find out if Angel and Spike got out of that alleyway!

ooops - one digit out....!

It was a 307, not 306!

Managed to watch Heroes before I left, which was good news, as the meeting wasn't really relevant, and I would have been getting VERY agitated during it if I hadn't seen it!

Picked some chicory from my garden for my babies' breakfast - came back inside to find Stalker Cat sitting on my sofa, with a very smug expression! Was not impressed by that... needless to say, he was back in the garden very shortly afterwards!

And I take back everything I said about the Astra yesterday... I have a new least favourite hire car!!!!

Biz trip

I've got an afternoon meeting in Leicester tomorrow, so I get another lie in - hurrah! Bad news is that it isn't due to finish until 5pm, so I'll be leaving there during rush hour and probably won't be home til after 9pm - Booo! This also means I'll be too knackered to watch the latest episode of Heroes.... Bah!!!!!

Our hire car is a Peugeot 306 which I've never driven before... I am eternally grateful that it wasn't an Astra, which has been my LEAST favourite previous hire car!

And I'm not impressed with the way the hire company have parked the car outside my house! One wheel on the pavement (just), and half the car hanging over my driveway, meaning it's a damn good job I wasn't going out tonight! Thoughtless gits!!!! The car was also blocking access to the driveways opposite mine... looks like I'm going to be popular with the neighbours tonight!

I am now going to have a proper sulk at having to wait 2 days to watch Heroes!

I know my place...!

Despite my "stop banging on the window," and my "stop miaowing really loudly," and my "don't you have your own home to go to", Stalker Cat refuses to take any notice of me!

Strangely, my trusty Dyson seems to speak the same language as S.C.! I just need to switch it on, and S.C. flees!

Although I should technically be top of the pecking order in my house, it is with mixed emotions that I have realised I am below a cat that doesn't even belong to me, and a Dyson!

UH-OH!

Stalker Cat is back....!

hope you're sitting down....

... I actually passed my St Johns Ambulance First Aid course!!!! Wooooooo Woooooooo!

Day 4 started with loads of practical exercises, CPR, bandages, slings etc! Then assessment in the afternoon!

There were 2 assessors with rooms with an "injury" casualty, and 2 assessors running rooms for unconcious breathing/ unconcious not breathing casualties. I was the last one in, so had plenty of time to work myself into a nice nervous/ stressed condition!

I was great at the CPR/ placing in the recovery position, not so great at the slings though! Still, it was "fit for purpose", so was acceptable! Nearly forgot to get someone to phone for an ambulance [don't panic, it was only a fracture!], but remembered in time!

Obviously I need to practise some of the "bleeds" and "fractures" procedures, so if anyone wants to volunteer to let me practise bandaging them up like a mummy......

I am soooooooo tired!

Day 3 of St John's Ambulance First Aid course meant CPR training - I never realised how knackering that is!!! My arms and shoulders are killing me.... and I've got to do it again tomorrow!!!

Also did major recap on bandages and fractures... all had to pretend to be casualties at some point during the day... every time it was a girls turn to have a "leg" injury, you could almost see the "oh shit I haven't shaved" look!

Anyway, too weary to write more tonight...

Day two

Day 2 of First Aid course - I'm no better at tying bandages, but my "arm sling" is much better than my "elevation sling".

We're doing resuscitation tomorrow - which I hope is easier to do, than spell!

Stalker Cat update... this morning, as I got in my car, I noticed Stalker Cat running down the street to get to me.... awwwww, poor thing looked so sad as I drove off...... his sad face was sad enough to make me forgive his noise levels during Heroes last night. Didn't see him this evening, but am assuming that was because it was raining, not because I shut all my blinds and turned the TV up loud!!!!

Darn....

.... foiled by a pesky cat!!!

One of my friends just popped round briefly! As she was leaving, we were so engrossed in our chatting, that Stalker Cat sneaked in!!!

It's now SIX times that I've had to take it back - darn thing has definitely got a stronger will than me!

It's over....

My love affair (not literally) with Stalker Cat is well and truly over! I came to this conclusion when he decided to miaow REALLY, REALLY loudly, while I was trying to watch Heroes!!!! How very, very dare he! He obviously needs to learn about priorities in life i.e. heroes saving the world are far more important than a fluffy cuddle!!!!

First Aid course is enjoyable, but hard work.... it's times like 'when I'm trying to tie bandages,' that I wish I'd been blessed with better co-ordination, and could remember the differences between a 'reef knot' and a 'granny knot' - that sailing course was worth going on, eh? Still, at least I got the bandages on the right limbs, which is a start!

My head is hurting from information overload (and loud purring), so think I'm going to go and watch an episode of Jericho (latest naff American TV series that I'm watching)......

First Aid course

Ah, I get a lie-in for the rest of the week, as I'm on a First Aid course, and it's local!

So no Crying Girl, no Sniffing Lady, and no 3 hours commuting!

It's worth doing the course just for that!!!

This is Stalker Cat

I am shattered

Today, I: finished cleaning the cupboards; cleared out the loft; cleaned the tortoises pens; re-laid my hallway carpet; did my ironing; did the Dyson-ing; dusted; bleached; went shopping; did a bit of weeding in between downpours; and, managed to get a bit of DVD viewing in as well! Of course, I did it ALL in the wrong order.... silly me did my dusting before clearing out the loft, and laying the carpet, so now I'll have to do that again!! Still, I now have 4 bags of rubbish, and 4 bags of recycling... so at least I know my house is a little less cluttered!

Oh, and I am getting stalked by a cat! This is the same cat that has been sneaking into my house for the last couple of weeks, when I've not been looking, and that I've had to return to my neighbour 5 times! For the last 3 days, it's sat staring at me through my patio doors, miaowing in a really annoying way, and then tapping the window pitifully! It's a bit of a weird looking thing - one of those cat's that looks like its been hit in the face with a banjo - but is kinda quite cute at the same time!

Last year, I had 2 baby hedgehogs in my garden, so I started leaving hedgehog food out for them. I haven't seen them since autumn, but I've been leaving food out for the last couple of weeks, as they should be out of hibernation by now. I thought they were still living in my garden, because the foods gone by morning. Turns out that it's been Stalker Cat that's been eating the food! This kind of works in my favour, as I've heard that cat's don't poo where they eat, and I've not had to clear any up for a couple of weeks now!

Although I have been very strong up til now, today I did the most STUPIDEST thing going.... Stalker Cat was banging on the window, crying out, and as it was raining, I made the mistake of letting him in! Then he completely manipulated me by getting all cute and cuddly, while sitting on my lap.... and I like a fool, I let him! When the rain stopped, I let him back outside, and he went home.

Only now, he's sitting outside my door again, asking to come in.... I've had to shut the blinds, and come upstairs so I can't hear him or see him, because I'm a twat with no will power, and if I stay downstairs, I'll probably give in and let him in again!!!!

I am such a pathetic soft touch - now you can see why my tortoises run rings round me!

Awwww, sweet little Lola!

I've been spring cleaning today! I put some blankets on the floor for washing, and guess which little girl wanted to go to sleep somewhere warm?

Not the greatest photo, because I didn't want to disturb her, but don't you just love her?

I'm probably going to get slaughtered for this entry!

Getting up early in the week means my body clock usually wakes me up early on weekends too. Not always wanting to get up at that time (because on weekends I don't have to), I often laze around in bed and bung the telly on! At that time, the only thing worth watching is the music channels - I know, I know, I could view the news channels, but on a Sunday morning???

Being a lover of foreign films, I've got no problem watching programmes with subtitles, and I really think it's amazing that some Channel 4 programmes are shown with sign language. But there was something oddly disturbing about the lady 'signing' to the music videos this morning! It wasn't the 'signing' that was making me feel uncomfortable, I don't even think it was her dancing, but there was just something about her that scared me..... maybe it was because she looked a little bit like Stella from Eastenders....

... still, whatever the reason, I am eternally grateful to her, cos it meant I switched off the tv, got out of bed and started my spring cleaning!

What am I allowed to say?

Following on from Paula's comments on Whoppy's Whinge, I'm beginning to get really confused about what is "acceptable" to say, and what is deemed "politically incorrect" or "racist". I'm also a bit unsure of how Freedom of Speech sits with Political Correctness - explanations welcome!

While growing up, I don't remember taking skin colour/ religious beliefs/ disability/ ability/ sexual orientation/ shape/ size/ stereotypes/ appearance etc into consideration when making friends, or forming opinions of people, but I certainly told the odd Englishman/ Irishman/ Scotsman joke, or used labels such as Geordie/ Scouser/ Cockney etc, without a second thought. These days, it's deemed unacceptable to tell this type of joke, in case someone is offended.

Incidentally, can anyone tell me when a "joke" stopped being a "joke", and became politically incorrect? It definitely wasn't in the early 90's, when Essex Girl/ Blonde jokes were in circulation - and if these had come into circulation in this day and age, would they be classed as racist, or deemed acceptable as Essex girls are too thick to understand them? [relax, I'm an Essex girl, so it's okay for me to say that, er, I think - just in case, apologies to any Essex girl I just offended!]

Sorry, slight digression.... so, can anyone help me with my confusion? What am I, or not, allowed to say - for example, what is the correct description of someone who isn't very tall? Should I refer to them as 'vertically challenged'? Can I say someone is 'handicapped' or 'disabled', or is there a more acceptable term? Is the word 'fat' okay to use, or should I refer to my 'obese arse' rather than my 'fat lardy arse'?

Lordy, forget Wilkepedia, there should be an online politically correct terminology reference book for thickos like me!!!

p.s. can I say thickos?

Ouch!

I had a really bad headache on one side of my head yesterday... being a bit of a drama queen, I was thinking, hospital, brain scan etc.... Anyway, wasn't until the evening that I realised I had a really huge spot in my hair line - god, how painful are they??? Obviously I had to squeeze and scratch it a bit, until it was flat again...

.... and then I noticed a really, really tiny spot on my nose! I just lightly touched it, and an inproportionate amount of blood came gushing out of it! It took about 20 mintues for it to stop bleeding!

This morning, there is absolutey no evidence of the hairline spot, yet my nose has this bright red patch on it!!!

Why aren't the size of spots indicative of the amount of gunk, pain and aftermath there will be????

and another thing...

Forgot to mention this strange incident that happened this morning!

Bit of boring background for you... when we were based at Canary Wharf, the bank decided to bring in a recycling policy, which is something we'd been asking about for years! They sent a note round to say they were going to collect all the desk bins on the Friday, so if we wanted to keep one, we'd have to lock it in the cupboard for that night... However, they decided to collect them on the Wednesday, so we all lost them, and they then refused to give any back. Colour coded bins were then placed around the office, so everyone could start separating their cups/ cans/ cardboard etc from their general waste. Of course, this totally backfired, as everyone could not be arsed to get up and walk 20 metres to find a bin, so ended up stuffing rubbish in their empty cups, and throwing it all out as general waste at the end of the day!

When we moved to Park Street, there were even less bins, and even further to walk... and lets face it, who wants to walk a mile to find a bin, everytime you take your tea bag out...! Needless to say, a lot of us bought our own cheap bins, and empty them at the end of the day!

This morning, some strange little man came marching up to my desk, picked up my bin and started walking away with it... in my defense, it was VERY early in the morning, and it was a bit of a principal thing... anyway:
Me: Excuse me, where are you taking my bin?
SLM: I'm taking it away.
Me: Why?
SLM: Because I have to.
Me: Why do you have to?
SLM: Because I've been told to.
Me: But it's my bin
SLM: Yes, and you can't have it.
Me: But it's mine, I paid for it.
SLM: And I am taking it.
Me: No, you are not taking it, because it's mine.
At this point, I was ready to pounce on him, wrestle the bin away from him, get him in a headlock, and give him a few right uppercuts. Obviously this thought may have reflected in my eyes, as he suddenly threw the bin back at me, and scarpered.

He then proceeded to try and take everybody elses bin. Of course, he was challenged every time he picked up a bin, and within 15 mins looked as though he was about to have a full-on panic attack!

I did actually feel a bit sorry for him, as he was only following orders, but how pathetic is it that we can't have our bins???

Surreal moments

Do you ever have moments so surreal, that you wonder if you're acting out a Little Britain sketch???

I seem to experience quite a few of these at work, and the majority of them are down to some of our global colleagues.... now before I upset the Politically Correct brigade, I'd just like to point out that I don't care where my colleagues are based, providing they give a good service, and are up to the job. Sadly, this is not often the case, which makes it incredibly difficult to refrain from agreeing with customer's when they voice their displeasure at service they've received from a call centre based overseas. In fact, I have to bite my tongue so that I don't beg for sympathy from the customers - our colleagues in the call centres have to have a higher level of linguistic skills, than the staff based in the "back offices" whom we have to interact with. I have given up counting the number of times I've asked an 'either/ or' question, and been given the answer "yes"!!!!

Yesterday, our fax machine wasn't working, and I drew the short straw for phoning the systems help desk, based overseas. After several "can you slow down please, I don't understand what you are asking me?" I gave the information that they required, only to be told that they would have to phone me back as the system they used to route the faults to the relevant departments was down, so they couldn't do anything, and they couldn't tell me when it would be back up. The department who would need to help me was also experiencing the same system problems, so they could not do any work either. I asked if they could transfer me through to that department, as they may be able to talk me through fixing the fax over the phone, and was told "computer says no"... How I didn't lose it completely, I will never know!!!

Not much to report today!

Ahhhh, I love Peter Petrelli!!! But enough about Heroes...

Double whammy today - SNIFFING lady sat next to me AGAIN! And then Crying Girl was on the train on the way home - although she appeared to be surprisingly subdued, for once!

There was a May Day protest picket line outside our building today... started off with about 2 people, and ended with about 15! Bleedin' protests meant it took longer to walk to work today, as all the shortcuts through courtyards were barred! Bah!

Had to leave Lola out today (again) as still haven't decided what I'm going to do about her Houdini escapades! I let Reggie out too, to keep her company. I came home from work, and found them cuddled up under the chair - how cute! They obviously didn't want to go back in their pens, as Reggie hissed at me when I picked him up!!! He's not getting freedom tomorrow for that [tortoise equivalent of being grounded/ revoking TV privileges] - he'll learn!

Planted an hibiscus tree, and a couple of blueberry bushes at the weekend - and they're still alive!

Oh, just heard a weird sound from Reggie's pen, and it appears that he has been swapping notes with Lola, as he's moved his cuttlefish to the side of the pen, and climbed up on it... but as it's not flat, it just started wobbling as soon as he got on it! Shouldn't laugh, but he does look a bit confused!!!